Just Another One Of The Boys
by BleedingHeartsoftheWorldUnite
Summary: When a new kid comes to school, the boys think they're getting a new friend, but what they don't realize is how many secrets come with Hunter Bloodworth and their junior year...
1. Garrison Gives Great Detention

"Guys, guys!" Panting like the fat-ass he still was, Cartman raced up to the bus stop, one hand stretched out for the other guys. If they hadn't witnessed it themselves on several past occasions, none of them would have believed that he could have gotten any fatter than his eight-year old counterpart. "You will never guess what I just saw! Come on you guys, guess!" There was silence, and Kyle simply rolled his eyes. "I said guess, God-dammit!"

Looking between each other, it was Stan who replied. Honestly, after everything that the town had been through, what was the point of getting excited about anything? "What?"

"There's a new family in town!"

Again, what the point of caring? "So what dude?"

"Yeah, we've had people move in and out of town before, so who cares?" Kyle wasn't quite as pessimistic as Stan, but seriously, what was the big deal?

Only somewhat abashed by the lack of interest in this news, Cartman pressed on. "Because there's a girl with them, and I saw her changing in front of her window!" He went on, trying to sound all important, "The window across from my room!"

Well that certainly got their attention. Kenny pounced right to the most important question: "Did you see her tits?!"

"Did I see her tits?" Eric burst into a wide grin, eager to share the details. "Of course I saw her tits! They were magical, all glistening in the light; it was like Jesus, Jesus being born from God's vagina."

"God didn't give birth to Jesus, dumb-ass. Mary did." It wasn't any of the other three that had corrected him, but a forth (or seventh, if you counted Cartman and his asses) guy. "What are you talking about?"

Having missed the first half of the conversation, the new boy had only just joined them at the bus stop, one hand in his pocket as he put away his earbuds. They were no stranger to the cold, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, seeing his puffed-out army coat or the black hoodie scrunched underneath it. His over-sized beanie covered his entire head, so it was impossible to tell what color hair he had. He didn't look completely lame, and there was an obvious air of no shit-giving about him, so they figured they wouldn't shun him on the spot.

"Fat-ass over here got new neighbors, and he said that he saw one of them naked." Kyle pointed over at Eric, who took as much offense as usual to the crack about his weight.

"Hey! I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned!" Becuase they never heard that one before.

The boy looked slightly alarmed at that claim, "What?"

Looking again at the direction the boy had come from, Stan figured that he must be Cartman's new neighbor, or one of them. "Dude, he must have seen your sister."

The boy shook his head, "I don't have a sister."

They rounded in on Cartman, "You liar!"

"Hey, I'm not lying!" He pointed at the boy, "I saw your sister's tits!"

The boys fell silent, waiting to see how the new kid would react, and he didn't disappoint, whatever his name was. Taking advantage of Cartman's general fatness and lack of expecting retaliation, the new kid decked Cartman straight in the face, slugging him right in the nose. There was a crack and some whimpering, but Eric remained in place, large tears welling up in the corner of his piggy little eyes. His nose was bleeding pretty bad. The new guy was a little worse for wear, his hand shaking and knuckles cracking sickly.

At that moment, the bus pulled up.

"Wow, dude, that was so cool!" Pleased to see anyone stand up to Cartman, the other guys all led the new kid to the back of the bus where they sat, leaving Eric to follow behind them, darkly muttering a promise of revenge. They probably should have warned the new guy, but they were too caught up in the moment...

**[South Park]**

Standing in the doorway as he walked in to class late (held up by having to turn his paperwork in to the office and have a private word with the principal, only to be forced to see the nurse for his hand), the new kid cringed back as all eyes fell on him. Even the teacher was staring from his place at the blackboard. Cartman, sitting at the back of the class with Stan, Kyle and Kenny (all of whom had introduced themselves back on the bus), glared at him.

"Oh, so you must be the new kid, Hunter Bloodworth. Ok, well Mr. Hunter, you best sit down. As you can see, the school board are a bunch of stingy bastards, so there isn't enough seating now that you're here." Mr. Garrison (whom had become the boy's homeroom teacher last month after yet another break down with the sixth graders) pointed at the desk Kenny was sitting at. "Kenny, let Mr. Hunter take your seat."

"Why the fuck do I have to move?!" Came his scandalized cry.

Mr. Garrison frowned, "Because you're poor Kenny."

Cartman laughed, but he was pretty much the only one.

Hunter looked over at Kenny, feeling bad that his arrival was such an inconvenience for someone that had been here during the whole school year. "I don't mind sitting on the floor."

"Well that's mighty nice of you Hunter, but Kenny's poor, so he's less important." Mr. Garrison sounded as if this was his final answer.

Shrugging apologetically at Kenny, the boys swapped places, but not without Hunter getting the last word. "Whatever."

"Oh, great, another smart-ass teenager!" Mr. Garrison snapped as he continued on with the lesson (the blatant favoritism of actors that can't really act).

Huddling up in the corner furthest from the heater, Hunter looked down at Kenny, "Is he always that way?"

Muffled as ever, he answered Hunter's question. His reply made Hunter laugh, a sound which did not go unnoticed by Mr. Garrison. "Yes, Mr. Bloodworth? You seem to have an alternate opinion?"

He grinned over at Kenny, "Not at all, Mr. Garrison. Kenny here was just filling me in on all your marvelous opinions."

Trying to detect of this was true or not, Mr. Garrison figured that it would just save time to punish them both. After all, this lesson was already planned to take up an entire week, and that was only by abridging it. "Hunter, Kenny, I want you two to stay after school for detention!"

"Sweet, now I actually have plans. You're too kind sir." It was Kenny's turn to snigger at Hunter's joke.

Mr. Garrison wasn't finding this nearly as funny as they were. "For the rest of the week!" Oh, good lord, what had he done?! Stuck with those two little hooligans for an entire week!

The boys were saved further punishment by the sounds of class ending. Sweet.

"Dude, that was so cool how you stood up to Mr. Garrison like that!" Kyle whistled in appreciation.

Shrugging, Hunter just followed them without paying too much attention to where they were going. "What, don't tell me you guys actually take that guy seriously?"

"Mr. Garrison?" Stan could have snorted at the very idea. "Fuck dude, we've never taken that ass-crammer seriously!"

"Yeah," Kenny affirmed what they were saying.

Fuck, Hunter hadn't thought about that. He was too busy showing off for his new friends to bother thinking about what kind of a teacher Mr. Garrison was, or even what the consequences could be. He might have put on a face of uncaring distance, but really, he had to make an example for his little brother, and getting detention on his first day of school was not the way to do that...

"Man, I fucking hate gym class!" Cartman - ignoring Hunter - bitched as they entered the locker room.

Realizing where they were first the time - a lot of the other guys already in the process of changing into their gym clothes - Hunter looked at them in panic. "I shoul-"

"Hey, new kid!" The coach came over to them at that moment, pointing a rather fat and dirty finger at the boy he was addressing, "Your uniform hasn't come in yet, so you have to sit this one out-"

"Lucky bastard!" Cartman muttered under his breath.

"-So I want you to just watch the other boys and how they play. I know your records say that you were pretty good at sports, so maybe you can give them pointers. Fatso here could use it."

Hunter tried to argue with the coach, but he silenced the boy by blowing on his silver whistle, causing a number of kids nearby to jump. Giving up on trying to talk to the coach, he just kind of fell back to the shadows as he put his stuff in his gym locker.

Taking the opportunity of his absence, Cartman whispered to the others as they all stripped down and changed, "So what do you think of that new kid?"

"I like him."

"Yeah, he's not bad."

"He's cool."

Not really hearing what they had said, Cartman went on as if they were on his side, "I know, he sucks ass. So what are he going to do about him?"

"We," Kyle pointed at the three of them, "Aren't doing shit. We actually like Hunter, fat-ass."

Shell-shocked by this, Cartman looked almost genuinely hurt to hear that. Almost. But they knew him better than that...

* * *

My first South Park fic. Hopefully you guys like it!

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter!


	2. Some Find Love, Others Detention

Standing at the front of the class as he read off some stupid paper he had been forced to write about personal heroes in his life, Ike Broflovski would much rather have written about a hundred other people, but in an attempt to appease his mother, he had written about his older brother, Kyle. At first it had been hard to come up with something she would want to hear that was still believable, but after hours of bullshit, Ike cracked that nut and came up with the perfect thing. If he was right - and he was - everyone would be eating this right out of the palm of his hand. Sure, there might have been a time when this would have been easy, when it might have been true, but that time had long since passed...

"Ok, thanks Ike." The teacher waved Ike back to his desk. "Carol, you go next."

Ike sat back down in the desk next to the new kid as a girl with pigtails and glasses took center stage. Taking a cue from the rest of the class to not pay attention to her, the new boy put himself out there, hoping to make a new friend. "Wow, your big brother sounds awesome. My big-"

The teacher hissed at them as if possessed by the devil, "Be quiet!"

He was undeterred. "-er is really cool too. Hunter just started the same high school as your brother. I wonder if they met today?"

"What's your name, new kid?"

It wasn't entirely friendly, but it wasn't completely scathing either, so he answered Ike's question, "Avery Bloodworth."

Oh, this kid was him? Avery's dad was starting work with his dad today, and his mother had told Ike (and Kyle, but he wasn't really listening) to try and be nice to Avery since he didn't have a mother and was pretty much raised by his older sister. Or something like that. Once he realized that Kyle wasn't listening, Ike pretty much tuned out too. Not because Kyle did! It was just because he didn't care either.

**[South Park]**

While his little brother was sweating out the pressures of trying to find a friend, Hunter was doing a different kind of sweating. Having no gym uniform as of yet (something that the coach said was expected to take at least a week), he was asked to just sit back and help the coach - his academic records proceeding him - and that was fine enough, but sitting in that locker room as he watched the other boys changing... That was too much for his head. All. Those. Boys! Seated at one of the benches stapling the middle of the rows between lockers (Hunter's and Kyle's side-by-side since they had been arranged alphabetically), Hunter had crossed his legs as he pretended to tie his sneakers, trying to keep his mind off of all the boys changing around him. However, that was impossible...

"Dammit Cartman, give it back!" An unmuffled Kenny shouted at fat-ass as he swung a pair of Kenny's underwear over his head.

That might have been more amusing to watch, had Cartman not done this same routine on an average basis. Besides, Stan had more important matters to think about right now than his friends and their dumb-ass antics... Seeing that the naked blonde was about catch his belongings, Kyle looked up from securing his shoes as Eric launched something white through the air. Watching the trajectory and multiplying that by the velocity, dividing the sum by the density of the object, Kyle was able to figure out where the briefs were going to land even before they peaked. He was just glad Cartman hadn't aimed for his head this time.

Having depantsed Kenny while he was changing and successfully stolen his underwear in the same move, Cartman had sling-shotted them right at the unsuspecting new kid. To his twisted delight, they landed right in that hipster-wannabe's stupid face. Horror-stricken by the sudden impact and afraid to know what had struck him, Hunter - fighting back a rather girlish scream - could only guess. Just like he could only guess at the half-obscured identity of the boy that had come up to claim the article of war.

Taking them back in as dignified a manner as he could, fingers scraping briskly against the thin material of the beanie, Kenny frowned at Hunter. "Sorry about that man."

For all he knew, Kenny could have been giving him the secret of a lifetime, because all the young sir could focus on was biggest penis he had ever seen in his life (not that Hunter has seen all that many). "...Yeah..."

Watching from afar, Kyle and Cartman both spotted the funny way that Hunter was looking at Kenny. If they could see it, it was a mystery as to who else might have noticed...

Vaguely aware that he was staring, Hunter quickly forced his eyes up, staring into the most beautiful face he had ever seen, into eyes so bright and blue, it almost hurt to look into their vast depths, his shaggy blond hair rivaling the sun as it rose and fell. In that one instant, Hunter was convinced he was in love. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't the only one to see that...

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, the ladies already beat you to the field!" The coach shouted right in Hunter's ear, startling the boy from his reverie.

Kenny shrugged over at Hunter again, "Better listen to him, or we'll really have detention."

Wanting to ask Kenny what he meant by that, he didn't have much of a choice as he was steered forcefully out into the gym by the coach. The coach didn't back off of the new kid until everyone had lined up single file, military neat; they all knew better than to stand there in their much preferred configuration of a gelatinous blob. Thrown into the line-up at long last, he found himself next to a pretty blonde girl with tight, natural curls. Bebe. She smiled at him, but Hunter wasn't really interested in her sort, so he only nodded in greeting.

"Alright, maggots! Seems we have some new blood in the mix! Bloodworth, front and center!" No doubt wishing he could disappear and obviously uncomfortable to be in his regular clothes while no one else was, he kind of stumbled forward, looking a bit dazed. "Bloodworth here took his team to the nationals! So maybe with his help, we can make state! Get back in line, maggot!"

Say what you will about the coach, he didn't like anyone, even if you were the pinnacle of physical exercise. This was made quickly apparent to anyone in his company for more than five minutes, as he made everyone run laps until Cartman had finished just one, shouting out insults all the while.

"You call that a lap, Donovan?!"

"Hey Stevens, maybe if you run faster, that cellulite won't be able to catch up to your ass!" The blonde girl grabbed herself subconsciously, running faster.

"I've had faster runs in my shorts, Tweak!"

"Broflovski, make like your ancestors in the Holocaust and bolt!" Cartman laughed very pointedly at that remark, earning himself a jab, "And what are you laughing at? If your mother wasn't so good at blow-jobs, I'd be sending your fat ass in to the principal every single day until you got the hint to lose some weight!"

Cartman wasn't able to hold back at that crack, "Hey, my mom's not a slut!" She was, and everyone in town (many towns, all over the country) knew that, but he still wouldn't hear anyone call her that, unless it was himself.

The coach had an answer for that kind of backtalk, sounding very much like a drill Sargent. "Detention!"

Mother fucker!

So with Gym half finished by the time Cartman rounded one lap and his clothes weighed down with sweat, Hunter was wondering if he was ever going to do as the coach asked. This was answered when the whistle blew and everyone assembled themselves into two pre-determined teams, one led by Kyle, the other Stan. Standing in the middle of the room like an idiot, the coach's ass. was hulled off to the sideline by sausage-fingers himself. There they watched everyone hustle and bustle up and down the court as they attempted to play basketball. Actually everyone was pretty good for the most part, but Cartman was not.

Looking over at the Hunter, the coach asked his opinion after kyle scored his team's third hoop. "So, what can we do to improve our chances of going to state?"

Everyone was listening to the conversation, despite not being told to. Hunter looked over at Cartman and back at everyone else, "Umm, maybe you could play with the roster a bit? Take Cartman off the team? I don't know, I just went out there and played the game."

"What?!" Oh hell to the no, some new chicken fucker wasn't about to just come in and just take him off the team like that! Even if he did hate gym class and this meant an out for him...

The coach thought about it, and for the briefest of moments, Hunter was afraid that he was going to get more detention. "That might work. You can take fatso's place on the team once your uniform comes in."

"WHAT?!" Cartman screamed, outraged at this outcome, "But I'm the heart of the team!"

OK, that sealed it, this asshole was going down faster than Liane Cartman on the spread of Crack Whore Magazine!

* * *

So the next chapter! I want it understood that any/all racist jokes are NOT me, they are all on the CHARACTERS! And what happened between Kyle and Ike?! Puberty. Puberty happened.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter!


	3. Maybe He Should Have Gone To Detention

By the time lunch had rolled around, everyone in the school had been acquainted with Hunter, the kid that had popped Cartman one and got the little Nazi douchebag kicked off the basketball team. He was a shitty player and an even worse human being, so the only person that didn't take to him in some shape or form was Eric. And apparently Bebe hadn't gotten the hint in P.E. either, because she kept stealing glances and giggling to her friends whenever they crossed paths. But Stan couldn't be bothered by that, not when Wendy had ditched school for the day, texting him to meet her alone later that day...

Playing with his food as he folded his sandwich in half, Cartman look at Kenny, "Hey, Kenny, what does this look like?"

Kenny laughed, "Your mom's vag."

"Hey! Screw you Kenny!" Cartman threw his uneaten apple at the side of the other boy's head. "Just so you know, this double-stuffed bacon sandwich is nothing like my mom's vag!"

Hunter snorted, "And you would know what your mom's vag looks like, how exactly?" Egged on by Kenny's fit of hysteria, Hunter prodded on even further, "Because you help her quadruple stuff herself at night?"

Kenny fell off the bench because he was laughing so hard. He was the only one though, because the others weren't paying any attention. Shame.

"Dude, Wendy's probably just sick or something." Kyle knew Stan well enough after all these these years to know where his head was at. Sure, it was strange for little miss causes to be absent from school, but even Wendy got sick sometimes, so he didn't put that much stock into it. No one did.

Cartman chimed in, munching on the additional sandwich he had bought off one of the anorexic kids, sending flecks of bread and saliva flying as he spoke between mouthfuls, "She's probably just getting a nose job or something."

"Or fixing her uneven boobs." Kenny suggested. Being the boob-man that he was, he had almost developed a kind of x-ray vision for that kind of thing, and not even his friends' girlfriends' were safe.

"Dude!" Kyle spoke on Stan's behalf. "Not cool man!"

There was no apologizing for who he was. He said as much, but with some very colorful explatives.

Stan's stomach sank even lower than before. Sure, Wendy might have undergone the occasional cosmetic operation, but something told him that that wasn't the case this time... No, he couldn't think like that... Yeah, she probably did just get something done, and it went horribly wrong and left her disfigured somehow, so she wanted to warn him... Yeah, that had to be it!

Hunter had no idea who this Wendy girl even was. "Who's Wendy?"

Right, new kid. "Wendy is Stan's girlfriend. They've been off and on for years now."

From Kyle's tone, it didn't sound as if he wasn't too convinced they were at a high point in the relationship. Either that, or he was jealous and just didn't think very much about her. Which ever it was, Hunter didn't pursue that exact topic. "Being such a small town, how does that effect the relationships around here?"

Ahh, now that was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

Kyle had the distinct impression that Hunter might have been thinking of someone in particular when he asked that, and it was a certain orange-clad blonde sitting at this very table. So, did he like Kenny? Sure, Kyle could appreciate why so many people did (both guys and girls alike); Kenny wasn't bad looking for a scrawny, white trash kid that survived off school lunch and food stamps, but there was just something about his eyes that unnerved the son of the lawyer. Perhaps they were just too blue, or maybe it was the dark circles of poverty and torment that rimmed them - dashed with a hint of red with unknown origins - but Kyle just couldn't bring himself to think of Kenny in that light. But still, that didn't really change a whole lot...

At that moment, there came two texts, two texts that would change lives...

The first one read:

_Bubby, I want you to go with Ike after school. He already has the address. I love you, Bubby._

_P.s. If you don't go, you're grounded!_

The second one was rather similar to the first:

_Hunny-bunny, daddy wants u home straight after school - ur little bro has a play date. Also, I might be late, so can you take care of dinner? Love you, sweety-pie._

"Oh, Jesus Christ, I have to babysit my dumb little brother!" Kyle got his message first, sounding irritable, as if he had to put up with relatives that no one likes.

Hunter finished just a moment later, "Great, how can I go straight home when I have detention? My dad's going to kill me if I'm not there for my little brother..." Hunter's dad might have basically left everything to Hunter after his wife passed, but that didn't mean that he didn't pass out punishments like they were free candy on Halloween.

Kyle could relate to Hunter, knowing how annoying it was to be an older brother, to have to spend all that time lugging around a floppy-headed bastard that would grow up to resent you for sneaking out one too many times to see friends rather than watch a bunch of lame-ass cartoons. "You have a little brother too?"

He nodded, "Avery. You too?"

The name came out more like a scoff of indignation. "Ike."

"But what am I supposed to do?" Nice as it was learning that one of his new friends understood what he had to put up with at home, it didn't change the fact that he was still throughly screwed, and not in the fun way.

Kenny suddenly recalled getting targeted by that ass-blaster, along with Hunter. "Fuck it, dude."

Fuck it? Sure, that sounded like an easy enough solution, but they didn't understand that he had an example to set for his little brother. But still, if he didn't show up for his brother's play date, then he was going to get into even worse trouble! Well, either way he looked at it, he was fucked, and apparently Kenny wasn't going to go either, so what the fuck was the good in serving it?

Shit burgers... Oh, maybe he could make burgers for dinner! Yeah, Avery would like that...

**[South Park]**

So it was with a sense of dread that the school day ended. Stan was secretly terrified of whatever it was that Wendy wanted, because let's face it, it could have been anything. Or nothing. Kyle was dully anticipating having to sit around some stranger's house while his little brother - more than capable of looking after himself by now - got to fuck around. Cartman had detention to suffer through with one of his least favorite people in the school system (ditching wasn't much of an option for him, because unlike Garrison that probably forgot about punishing the other two, the coach lived for that shit). And Kenny was poor, so not being at school or with his friends, he really had no where to go. Such was life...

Taking the bus back home to their usual bus stop (Cartman remaining while Kyle walked to the middle school to go with Ike and his friend, the name of whom he didn't hear through his headphones), the ride was rather quiet as the boys all reflected on this or that. Departing in different directions, not so much as a nod was given. Hunter almost said goodbye, but looking at the morose faces, he figured against it.

Heading home alone, Hunter figured that since they would be walking home (Avery texting that they missed the bus), he had time for a quick shower at least. Seriously, he had been stuck in his sweaty clothes all day, and he reeked... Yes, a short little shower, that would do the trick...

Too bad he hadn't counted on any shortcuts...

* * *

Ban-na-nah! Clever sound effects or a misspelled fruit? You be the judge! Seriously though, I don't think I have any messages for you all today, sorry. But you could review, maybe?

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	4. Blind Trust - The First Secret

"Hey, we're here!" Avery - leading the Broflovski brothers through the front door - called out to the empty living room. Throwing his stuff next to the couch, indicating that they should do the same, he called out again, "Hunter?! We're here!" Checking down the hall, he saw the bathroom light was on. He looked over at Kyle and Ike, "Bathroom. So, you guys want any snacks?"

Ike followed Avery into the kitchen, inquiring in a somewhat demanding way that might have made Kyle think of Cartman, had he actually been paying any attention. Like most teens his age, Kyle was almost permanently plugged in to some kind of electronic device whenever he didn't want to be somewhere. But he did realize after a moment or two that he was alone with a rather full bladder, so he moved from the living room to the open hall, where he began to open doors at random. The first two were bedrooms, one as neat as a hotel, the next full of model planes and books on auto-mechanics. Figuring that one of the next two portals would be the bathroom, he reached first for the left-hand knob, but speculating that it was his luck to be another bedroom, turned the right-hand knob instead.

Well, he was right that this was the bathroom, but because the light was off, he had figured that it was unoccupied. Just like the person staring back at him had figured the rest of the house was, hence the lack of a towel. Letting out a blood-curdling scream that raised the fine hairs on the back of the neck, Hunter quickly rushed to cover up his body with his hands, but it was too late for Kyle to unsee what had just been seen...

Dazed with eyes the size of dinner plates, the red-headed ginger Jew fell back against the opposite wall, spine colliding with a metal protuberance in the otherwise smooth surface, mouth hanging slack. He was so startled by what he was seeing, his earphones hung limp against his shoulders. Drawn by the sounds of the scream, both Ike and Avery practically sprinted out of the kitchen to find themselves standing in the hallway, where Avery started to yell out as if he had just seen his mother naked. Covering his eyes with the speed of a cobra, he tried to run back out of the hall, running into Ike and bouncing off of the walls as he went. Ike, having never seen Hunter before, grinned.

Gathering his wits just enough to act in a manner that was both friendly and brotherly, Kyle tried to stand between Ike and Hunter, blocking the later from sight, but it was too late - the damage had already been done. Using the shield of Kyle's back, Hunter darted across the hall and hid in his room. Probably to die of embarrassment...

Trying to get a last glimpse before the bare body vanished from sight completely, Ike attempted to peek around his brother, "Dammit, Kyle, I want to see!"

Meanwhile, Avery was still flying around in the living room, knocking things over at regular intervals. Apparently, he had become temporarily blind by the sight of his sibling. CRASHHH! How much glass was around these people's house?! Kyle didn't envy the kid, but he wasn't too far behind him in terms of shock...

"Ike, make sure your dumb little friend is ok." Kyle's voice didn't sound right in his own ears. But after seeing that, was anything right? Had it ever been? Was the world suddenly thrown off its axis, or had it always been there on a steady tilt? He thought he knew...

More than anything else in the entire world, Kyle wanted to just sink down into the couch in the living room and just disappear until everything made sense again, but he couldn't, because it sounded as if there was a soft crying noise coming from the room Hunter had ran into. Dammit, why did he have to be the one to care? Why couldn't he just let it be and leave well enough alone? It would have been more than easy enough for any one of the other guys, the lucky bastards. Gathering what had remained of his nerves, Kyle bravely brought himself to the door.

Taking a deep breath, Kyle knocked on the door, only half expecting a reply of some kind, "Hunter?" There was a small sniffling noise. "Are you descent?" Seriously, Kyle was in no rush to see what he had seen again. Maybe someday, but not today or even this month (foreseeably this entire year was no good).

Something was moving in there. "Go away, Kyle!" It sounded like a small pillow or plush toy had been thrown at the door. It certainly wasn't a wet towel...

Oh yeah, like he wanted to be standing here?! Consoling really wasn't his favorite thing in the world, especially when he had no idea what to say or how to act. Forget the fact he was trying to talk down a virtual stranger that he had only just met that day. "No."

"Please?" It sounded like Hunter was standing at the door now, whispering desperately through the wood.

"No!" Damn him and his stubbornness.

Hunter unlocked the door after a moment of utter stillness. "Fine!" It swung open slowly, as if this were a horror movie and he was some kind of monster, revealing that he had put on a light blue camisole and black boxers. If there had been any doubt about what Kyle had seen, there was none now, not in that top. Hunter's eyes were already a bright red and still swimming in tears. "There, now you know my secret! Happy?!"

Cartman would have been over the moon to discover this, but then again, Kyle wasn't that annoying fat-ass. Speaking of tubby, knowing this only made it that much funnier that he had taken it to the face. And that much sweeter that he was off the team. But on that note, this revelation just made gym a hell of a lot more awkward. Hunter seemed to be following that train of thought.

"Trust me, it's just as awkward for me as it is for you." He shivered, "Normally I just have a signed note saying that I can't change with the other boys due to severe insecurity, but because my paperwork is still being processed, I didn't have much of a choice today."

That was only minimally comforting to hear, and also some major bullshit, because all of the guys had at one time or other tried to bail on changing together. However, that wasn't the only problem that Kyle had found in this charade. "Don't the adults know that you're a girl?"

Hunter sighed as he launched into an explanation, "It's not my fault that it went this far... Because of my name, everyone just assumes, and after a while, I realized that it was just easier to go with, so I did. I'm not proud of it, but Kyle, do you realize how hard it would have been for me if people knew what I really was? People would have treated me differently, would have judged me and forced me into some other role. Can't you understand why I don't come clean? Why I can't?"

Oh, he understood alright - being Jewish, he dealt with stereotypes all the time, but he didn't think about _gender_ stereotypes and how much they could affect someone. So Kyle understood her predicament very well. Better than she might have expected in fact. "What about your family? Do they know what you do?"

She looked in danger of crying again. "My family? Ever since my mom died, my dad's been too busy working to pay us much mind, and Avery doesn't know. Not yet."

Thinking once more of the way that Hunter had looked at Kenny throughout the day, Kyle had to wonder what she was going to do about his friend. "What about Kenny?"

Hunter looked at Kyle as if he were trying to pull some sort of con. "What about Kenny?"

"You like him." It wasn't a speculative statement or question, but a simple fact of truth.

Frowning, Hunter shook her head, "Even if I do - and I'm not saying that I do - there's no way that he could ever like me. I've gone through something like this before, so I know that I'm just better off being just another one of the guys than getting my heart broken as some cross-dressing freak." Alarm flashed in Hunter's eyes, "You aren't going to tell him my secret, are you?"

"No, it's not my place." Besides, Kyle knew firsthand what it felt like to care about someone that could never know that you liked them. It had gone on for years, being too afraid to ruin anything, so instead he lived in the friend-zone, pining away day-by-day.

"I guess it won't matter though if you tell the school." She added thoughtfully. "And I suppose I'm not in any position to ask you to wait long enough for me to tell him."

Kyle looked at Hunter, at the sadness in her eyes. They looked so familiar, those eyes. "I'm not. I'm not going to tell the school that you've been lying about being a boy. The only person that you're hurting is yourself, and hopefully you'll realize that before its too late."

Hearing his decision, the girl looked at him sideways, as if seeing a boy for the first time, "You're not going to rat me out? Why?" She looked at him darkly, "I'm not going to play that 'I won't tell them - if you sleep with me' game, so if that's your angle, you can just forget it! I might not have the straightest moral compass, but it isn't _that_ broken."

* * *

So what is Kyle's angle? Who's secret is going to come out next? Will it be Wendy's? Officer Barbrady? Kenny? Or someone else's? And who is going to see Hunter naked next? Craig? Token? Officer Barbrady? Tune in next week to find out!

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	5. Let It Be Cancer - The Second Secret

Going up to the front door had never been so hard, so full of horror-filled speculative terror. Stan had gone over to Wendy's a least a billion times in the past, so it shouldn't have been nearly half this difficult for him, but it was. The Testaburgers liked him well enough, and it wasn't like Wendy was going to break up with him again, right? Right?! The last time she had dumped him, it had been via text message, so surely if that was all she had wanted, she wouldn't have bothered dragging him over to her house...

So if she wasn't going to dump him, what was it that was making her act so strange? Could she have grown some kind of extra appendage? A freakish mole? A failed attempt at playing god with her own body? Dear God, just let it have been something he could live with...

The Marsh boy knocked on the door after what felt like an eternity of staring at it, and was almost immediately greeted by Wendy's mother. She had really gained weight over the years, but she claimed that it wasn't hereditary; she just had just started to eat her feelings since that one thing that one time. Stan wasn't fooled by the lies. "Wendy wanted to see me?"

She looked a bit shocked to see her daughter's boyfriend standing there at the front door like some kind of stranger, but she let him in all the same, "Wendy's father is at work. He doesn't know yet."

"Know what?" He suddenly felt as if were eight ears old again, being told something that he couldn't possibly hope to understand yet.

Bursting into tears, Wendy's mother could only point towards her little girl's room. Taking that as his cue to leave her be as she attempted to collect herself, Stan followed her shaking finger, despite knowing the way. He knocked on the door, unsure about if he should have just entered or not. It was weird using the door and not her window.

"Babe?" His voice trembled with uncertainty.

Creaking open slowly in slow motion, Wendy herself was standing in the doorway - still in her pajamas - her face looking freakishly calm. To his horror and great great disappointment, she was still completely normal and every inch the Wendy he knew and loved, imperfect breasts and all. Scanning for some kind of pigment mutation or something small and barely noticeable, he noticed that it looked like she was too frazzled to cry over her mystery plight. Maybe she had cancer? No, that was too hopeful...

Standing back, she let him in to her room. It really hadn't changed that much since they were kids. "Hi, Wendy." It sounded lame even before he had said it, but Stan was at a loss for words.

"Stan," it sounded like she had been rehearsing this all day, "This isn't easy to tell you, but you have to know..."

This was it... The big moment...

"Stan, I'm sorry, but it's over between us. I think we both know that we've been drifting apart lately, and we're just too different to make it work anymore. Sure, we had some good times, and I'll always love you, but I just can't do it anymore. I need more from my partner, and you just aren't nurturing me." He had heard all of that many times before, so much in fact, it was virtually just empty words. "I'm going through something of my own right now, so I'm going to leave town for a while." Ok, that was new.

Wendy had never told him that before, and what stuff was she going through?! He thought that they told each each everything. "What? No, you can't! Where are you going to go?"

She sighed in exasperation, as if she had been expecting this reaction. Dreading it even. "It's best if you don't know for now. Stan, I'm so sorry-"

"No! I want to know what 'stuff' you're going through!" A new kind of terror was coursing through him now, because this really did feel like the end. It couldn't be the end...

Wendy just shook her head, "You'll find out when the time is right, once I know what I'm going to do for sure. There's nothing you can do to change my mind or say to make me stay - I have to do this, it's what's best."

God, why did she always have to treat him like an idiot?! "Don't talk down to me like you're so much better than me! I know that you're better, that you'll go places while I slowly deteriorate into my father! I'm going to become nothing but a breeder who barely gets through the days without blowing my brains out, and you're going to move on to do great things, but that doesn't mean that you can talk to me like I'm retarded and can't keep up a conversation!"

"Stan-"

"You know what, fine, go! Sort out your shit, and just forget about me and stay gone! And then that way, when I die, you don't have to blame yourself!" Outraged, Stan turned on his heel and stormed out. Rare, but it was not a first time.

Watching him leave in disbelief, Wendy could only fall down weakly against her wall. It wasn't supposed to happen this way...

Hearing the blow-up from the living room, her mother had come into the room. Seeing her daughter, she went to her side, asking gently, "Did you tell him?"

Looking into her mother's eyes, Wendy shook her head, falling into her mother's arms. "I... I couldn't tell him. Oh, mom, what I'm I going to do?!" Bursting into tears, the normally cautious teen refused to budge from her mother's warm and loving embrace.

They had normally been so careful, so guarded, so safe, except for that night at Craig Tucker's party... They had been drunk, and Kenny had stolen Stan's wallet earlier on in the evening, but it was ok, because they were young, invincible and in love. And she was on the pill, so it should have been fine. Only it wasn't, because it turns out Cartman had thought it would be funny to switch out her birth control with candy...

Jealous that she had beaten him in debate for the millionth time, Eric had thought it would have been funny to prove that she wasn't so perfect and brilliant, so he revealed to the entire debate class last week that if she had been so bright, 'the dumb bitch would have realized she was eating powdered sugar'.

As easy as it would have been to blame his friends for this, there was only herself to blame for getting pregnant, even if it had been a mistake...

At least that's what she had told her mother...

* * *

Yep, I totally went there.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	6. Late At Night - The Third Secret

Getting off the bus, all Kenny could think of was what he had to do after school. It wasn't like he was forced into it by anyone but himself, although it wasn't like there was much of an option either, not if he wanted to make sure that his sister ate. After his brother's suicide two years ago, his parents seemed even less likely to ever find a stable job, but at that point, they were too deep into the drug trade to even think about honest work, so it was a mute point. Striving to be a good older brother, he had helped his parents traffic the goods, and when he was old enough, he got a job working as a waiter in Denny's. But it still hadn't been enough...

Arriving at home, the blonde boy threw his stuff into the corner, greeting his father on the ratty old couch, where he was still nursing a hangover. His mother was laying unconscious on the floor. "Hey dad."

His father just grunted in reply. Taking that as a good sign, Kenny went to check on his mother, fetching the blanket from their bed to cover her with. Once they were attended to, he popped his head in to the kitchen, where Karen was crouched on the floor, doing her homework. Smiling down at her, he took at seat on the soiled tile, helping her with her school work. If there was time, he would do his later. If not, well...

"How was your day, Kenny?" About halfway through it, she looked over at her older brother. She had heard that there was a new guy in his grade, and that he had hit that asshole fat kid Kenny hung out with. Karen really didn't care for Cartman at all.

He shrugged as he thought of the day itself, "It was alright. We got a new guy. I guess he's ok." That was actually a bit of an understatement, because Kenny thought that Hunter was kind of cool. Seriously, what new kid would deck someone, hang out with them all day, and blow off detention? Plus, he was funny as hell. Although...

Karen pressed on, her point hovering near the surface. "I heard that the Cartmans got new neighbors, so that must have been one of them. We should introduce ourselves one of these nights."

Kenny was no more fond of leftover Denny's than she was by this point, so that was a really valid argument she had - not that he needed much convincing. And it was only a couple of houses down, so it might look rude if he didn't invite Hunter to the neighborhood"...OK, we can go over tomorrow night, since I don't have work."

**[South Park]**

After his shift had ended - arms ladened with Styrofoam boxes of unwanted scraps - Kenny returned home to give his sister her dinner for the night. While he had requested that she leave enough for their parents (who were now awake and "at work"), Kenny had never asked her to ration off some for him, but more often than not, he would come back home from his second job to find a small bit left in the back of the ice box used as a refrigerator. She was a good kid.

"Kenny," Karen inquired as he prepared to head back out, "Where's your second job?"

There was a sharp pain in his chest as he thought of what he did late at night. Being Mysterion, it wasn't right to fall to the very thing he loathed and swore to stop, but being Kenny McCormick, he had to look after his sister and provide for the family. Doing his best to bite back the conflict and hurt, Kenny just shook his head, a sad kind of smile on his face as he patted her head and stepped out of the door into the cold.

That wasn't the first time Karen had asked him, and he had a hunch that she wouldn't stop asking him until she found out. But she never could find out. It was one thing if the guys had ever found out, but his sister never could learn the truth, that her dear older brother was a prostitute in North Park.

Taking the bus, Kenny didn't have to wait long in that dark and seedy ally for a costumer to find him...

"You're late." His first costumer - a usual - stalked into the dismal ally mouth. Arms crossed as if angry, the elderly gentleman slipped a twenty dollar bill from inside his sleeve, "I don't know if you deserve this. I mean after all, you're pretty enough to earn back what I don't pay you from someone else. And if all else fails, you could always just come do this full time..."

Kenny would rather shot himself in the head and know that he wouldn't come back again than do this full-time. He hated himself for doing it even part time, but someone had to look out for Karen...

**[South Park]**

It was well past midnight by the time that Kenny threw himself into bed. There was still time for him to do his homework, but he was bone-tired after a hard day's work, so he would just have to turn in nothing yet again. But what did it matter when his teachers were used to that kind of behavior? Kenny McCormick, the poor kid that couldn't even afford to do his own homework. He heard things like that all time, and not just from Cartman either - the teachers all said it, the students, even the townsfolk weren't above reminding him of his situation.

But it didn't matter, not so long as Karen was looked after. He would take anything thrown his way, just to make sure it meant a better day for his sister. She didn't deserve this life, so it was his job as her big brother to make sure that it was happy as he could make it, that she wouldn't end up like Kevin...

* * *

After watching "The Poor Kid", I was moved by Kenny's love for his little sister Karen. Kenny was always my favorite part of the show, and now that I see just how incredible he is (not just because of this one episode), I can only marvel at how much more I love the entire show. Oh, and another thing I should point is that Kenny does do his homework when he's able (not that it's often), and it isn't that late into the year where he's screwed. And yes, he's still in school, so he can graduate and try to get a better job with more money for his little sister.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	7. Prelude To Blackmail

"Dude!" Kyle looked at Hunter as if she had just suggested the sickest thing possible. "I don't want to!"

Oh. Shuffling over to the writing desk catty-corner to the window opposite Cartman's, the girl plopped herself down in the black spiny chair, leg propped against her torso as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Good, I don't want to sleep with you either."

He followed in her example and took a seat in the wicker papasan next to the bed. Being unused to such a chair, Kyle sank awkwardly into it's cushiony depths. "Good."

They looked at each other in silence, the minutes stretching uncomfortably. In the distance, they could make out the sounds of Avery tripping into the furniture, still blind from seeing his sister naked. The same question was plaguing them both, but Hunter cracked under the pressure first. "Why don't you want to have sex with me?" That was easily answered, but she didn't give him the chance just yet. "Do you play for the other team or something?"

Kyle looked away; it wasn't quite that black and white for him. There had been a fair share of girls that he had fancied throughout the years, and yet, if he was truly honest with himself, there was only one person that he had truly come to love, and it wasn't a member of the opposite sex. Stan was his best friend, ever since he could remember, and he knew that he would do next to anything for him (unless his own interests or beliefs countered that), and for the most part, that meant playing the role of friend, not lover. Stan had Wendy for that... _Wendy. _Pft, the fucking bitch.

Regardless of where he stood in terms of his sexuality (he was pretty mutual when it came to teams he'd play for), it wasn't like he felt like getting into it now. But on the one hand, he did know Hunter's secret, so wasn't it fair that she should know something about him? Yeah right, fuck that noise! "No!"

Perhaps it was the speed in which Kyle replied, or maybe it was just the way that he denied it, but Hunter could just tell that he was lying. "Bullshit. I call shenanigans!"

"You wo-"

Kyle was cut off by the window breaking as something large, lumpy, and brown was thrown into the room. Having narrowly missed her head, the glass shining in the late afternoon sun, a large unbaked potato sat amongst the shards, a note tied around it's middle. Although it was obviously intended for Hunter, Kyle picked it up and extracted the note with only a single snag on the string. Whoever had thrown it was probably long gone by now, so there was little point in trying to catch the culprit - besides, Kyle had a good guess as to had thrown that potato.

She was still trying to recover from the projectile almost skewering her head, so he read the note aloud, "'Welcome to the neighborhood'. Welcome to the neighborhood?" This screamed the kind of thing that Cartman would do, but it was still too early for him to be back from detention, and besides, only Butters would do something this lame. It was probably the r-tard acting on fatass's orders. "Dude, I think you really pissed Cartman off."

"Lard of the Bitches?" Hunter snorted at the play on words, recovering somewhat as she took the letter from Kyle and read it for herself. "This is so archaic. Doesn't he realize that we're not in the age of barbarians anymore? This is the dawn of technology, of a smear campaign on the internet."

Kyle shook his head, genuinely worried for the girl. "Seriously, you can rip on Cartman, but you never want to piss him off. He made this one kid eat his own parents, and when he realized that the kid was his half brother, all he cared about was being part ginger. Cartman's fucking evil."

Oh, she was rattled now. Not. "I'm so scared."

"You should be." Kyle looked at Hunter as if she had just been diagnosed with cancer. "From the looks of this, Cartman's declared war. You might laugh at this now, but you should be careful, and don't let him find out anything about you, because he will use it."

Still skeptical about what Eric could possibly do to her, Hunter carelessly tossed the potato into her wastebasket, sitting down once more at her desk. "So say I did take this threat seriously, what would you recommend I do?"

Thinking about it, Kyle realized that it might have been too late already. "Jesus Christ, are you some kind of nudist or something?! He saw you this morning. Before school, Cartman saw you naked. Knowing the dipshit, if he hasn't put it together yet, it's only a matter of time."

Offended since this was a free country and she had the right to be naked in the privacy of her home (especially her room), Hunter scowled. "Hey, I thought I was alone when you barged in on me! And I was in my room this morning!"

Oh no, she wasn't even trying to blame him for that! "The light wasn't on! How was I supposed to know that anyone was in the bathroom!"

"I was getting out of the bathroom, and I turn off the lights before I leave!" It was a weird habit, but that's just how the new girl in town rolled. "I never meant for anyone to see me naked!" She blushed, focusing her attention on the corner of her bed furthest from her guest as she confessed, "It might sound weird, but I grew up in a rather traditional way when it comes to things like sex."

Baffled by what that meant, Kyle was forced to inquire. "What the fuck is the 'traditional way'?!"

The blush spread, "I was kept away from boys... Sure, I went to school with them, but my dad always made sure I was too busy looking after the house and my little brother to date. That probably is another reason I find it easier to dress like a dude."

Wait, did that mean that Hunter was...?! "Holy shit, are you a virgin?!"

Her glower returned. "Hey, this isn't the 'Hunter Tells All Hour', so butt-out!" She glanced over at the clock, and seeing the time, she jumped out of her office chair. "Shit, I should have started dinner ten minutes ago! You're ok with hamburger, right?"

"What?" Were they supposed to stay over for dinner? Might as well, since going home meant having to put up with his parents that much sooner. "Whatever."

Nodding, she opened the door, only half surprised to see Kyle's little brother with his head glued to the wood. He straightened up and tried to act cool, as if he hadn't just been caught. "Sup, babe? You know, if you ever need your strange tamed, I'm way better at it than Kyle."

"Dammit Ike!" Kyle exclaimed from the bowel seat he was struggling against.

Groaning, Hunter realized that more people knew her secret than she would have liked. But at least two of them she had a chance of dealing with... An idea suddenly struck her, "I bet you are." Shooting a warning glare over at Kyle, she smiled sweetly at the younger teen, "You know, it would be a really big help if you could go in the kitchen and warm up the deep friar for me." She batted her lashes for extra effect, "I mean you're such a good man, aren't you? Way more helpful than your older brother."

Vaguely suspicious, Ike looked sideways at her breasts, trying to size them up. "What are you, B-cup, C-cup?"

Biting back her pride, Hunter replied in her silkiest voice. "B-cup. But I'm sure you could figure out how to make the best of it. Couldn't you Ike?"

"You're damn straight I could." He looked at her, using mental math to figure out the chances of him scoring. Obviously he liked what he came back with, because he agreed. "Alright, babe, but don't take too long. I'm starving."

So Ike wander off back to the kitchen, dragging a bat-like Avery in his stead. Once he was gone, Kyle rounded in on Hunter. "What the fuck was that!?"

Grinning mischievously, Hunter closed the door with a light snap. "Just because I don't act like a girl doesn't mean that I can't. As a wise woman once said, 'these are smart bombs. Just point them in the right direction, and shit gets real'."

Repeating himself, Kyle was seriously under the impression that she was going to try something on Ike. "What the fuck was that!?"

Sensing his anger and understanding it as a protective older sibling, Hunter explained her plan. "Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything with him. I'm just buttering him up so when I ask at dinner if he'll keep my secret, he'll agree." Ok, Kyle gave her that Ike would be more inclined to agree to help if he thought that it meant he was going to get something in return. "And before I make dinner, I wanted to ask you something..."

* * *

It should be noted that I don't personally hate Wendy. I don't really like her either, but that's not why Kyle is scoffing at her. No, the only one I'm blatantly taking my dislike for out on is Cartman, but even then he's not completely my whipping boy. And yes, that wise woman was Megan Fox in '_Jennifer's Body_'.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	8. Prelude To Friendshp

Whatever it was that Hunter wanted to ask Kyle, it didn't bode well in his mind. In only one day of knowing her, the young Brofloski boy had already seen her stark naked (her warm locks falling just short of coverage), and therefore learned that the new guy in class was actually a girl, and through her own transparent actions, had realized that she had her sights set on one of his closest friends. To make matters more complicated, she was now stringing along his little brother in a bid at ensuring his secrecy of her true gender. So whatever it was that she wanted, it really couldn't have been that good...

But all the same, a part of him was curious to hear her out, wondering just what she would have the gall to ask. This girl was fairly easy to brake, and in spite of her manipulating Ike, she seemed like a decent enough human being. And anyways, anyone that would lay hands on Cartman was golden in his book, that fat fucking douchebag. Yeah, listening to what she had to say wouldn't hurt anything. How could it?

Besides his secrecy, what more could she possibly want?

Gathering from his stillness that Kyle was waiting for her to speak, Hunter steeled herself. "I know that you already said that you weren't going to tell anyone my secret, and being in my position, I have no right to ask any more from you, but..." There just didn't seem to be an easy way to say this. "Will you... no, could you find it in your heart to help me?" It came gushing out in a bloody torrent of verbal discharge. "I might not need anything, but if you are right about that Cartman, it would be nice to know that anything he might dig up... Well, I guess I mean to ask if I can count on you? I wasn't very popular in my last school, despite really helping out the team... No one really wants to be friends with a cross dresser, so... Do you want to come with me to the game next weekend? As friends. Maybe we can invite Stan and Kenny too, if they like Basketball."

Was she trying to buy their goodwill, or was this a genuine attempt at really being friends with them? Well, either way who could say 'no' to some free tickets! "Ask the guys tomorrow at school."

"What about you?" She wasn't sure if he was accepting her offer or not, although it sounded like he was.

Scoffing, Kyle shook his head, "I love basketball - I'm not going to pass up a free game."

Hunter grinned, "Great, it's a date!" She and Kyle exchanged glances. "I mean like friends, chilling at a game. Obviously I meant that."

Plans in motion and at least three months worth of allowance gone (hopefully it was going to be worth it in the end), Hunter and Kyle left for the kitchen, so she could make dinner (the deep friar was for onion rings and/or french fries). Ike tried to linger around, but she shooed all three of them out of the kitchen and into the living room so she could cook in peace. Poor Avery was still suffering from trauma-wrought blindness, so they just settled on watching the television at extra loud volumes. There was a brief squabble over the remote and who got to pick what to watch (Avery insisting that they were the guests, so they should get to pick), and it almost came down to fisticuffs between the Broflovski brothers. Thankfully Hunter had been listening to them from the other room, so she came out, snatched up the remote, and put it on old reruns of Game of Thrones. She took the remote with her so they couldn't resume their fight.

"Damn, my new bitch sure showed you bro." Ike laughed at Kyle.

Kyle simply growled to himself, crossed his arms, and watched the show while he pouted. Hunter was not and never will be anything to Ike, and further more, she did not put him in his place. If he wanted to, he could easily tell her how it was going to be, but he just didn't fell like it very much...

**[South Park]**

Mr. Bloodworth didn't come home for dinner, sending his regrets via text that he would be stuck late at the office all week while he familiarized himself with his bosses' cases. That was probably part true, but they all knew that it wasn't at anyone's request. Mr. Broflovski was a father himself, and so he wouldn't overwork an employee with a family (especially one he was trying to make friends with his sons), and who knew about that other guy. Some people speculated that he was a ghost. But that's a different story.

Seated at the table - Hunter next to her little brother so she could assist the virtually eyeless eat (praying to God all the while that he would get his sight back in the morning) - Kyle and Ike found it kind of nice to not have any adults present to dominate the conversation and bark out orders and grievances, although Kyle had to wonder if it was like this for them often. Judging from the way that they behaved, the novelty of no authority had long since died away. He kind of pitied them for this lonesome lifestyle, especially Hunter, who seemed more like a mother to Avery than his sister. But he had to hand it to her - a lifetime of being pegged as a mother-like figure had really taught Hunter some mad cooking skills. Sure, this wasn't even remotely close to Cartman's mom's cooking, but it was pretty good all the same (and God knows that the company was better). Maybe if the sports thing didn't work out, she could do something involving food? And let's face it: Being a girl, the sports thing was never going to pan out.

"Too bad you can't study as hard as you play..." Half-way through the meal, Avery changed the conversation towards school. "My big sister is a beast out on the court, but she's lucky if she can maintain a C average. I guess I got all of the brains in the family." He said as a gigantic glop of ketchup fell into his lap.

Hunter easily could have warned him about it before it happened, or even told him that it had, but she was offended by his remark, so she coldly kept the spill to herself. "Some people are smart while others are asses. Only some can be both."

Kyle and Ike figured that if she wasn't going to tell him, they weren't either. Not yet at any rate. "Why'd you move to South Park anyways?"

That simmered their hostess somewhat. "Oh, that's kind of a long story. The short version is that I was in a neighborhood fight club, and people didn't like it very much. In fact, that got us into trouble, and really started the wheels a-grindin'. And then there was the whole thing about me becoming an outcast."

Wait just a minute! Hunter was chased out of her old home for lying about being a boy, and here she was, doing it again?! "And you didn't learn any kind of lesson the first time?"

It appeared like she thought about it, but her answer came back being less than satisfactory. "Not really, no."

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, did people only learn valuable lessons in South Park or something?!

Sort of changing the subject, Hunter looked over at Ike, "Hopefully the same thing won't happen to me again. I mean I kind of like this place, and the people in it, so it would be a real shame if I had to leave... You wouldn't want that, would you Ike? And Avery, would you really want your friends to just come around to see me?" She looked between both of the children. Preteens, whatever, same difference. "I mean, can you imagine having to fight all those boys that would try to get to me?"

Sick of the bullshit she was trying to spew, Kyle just put it in layman's terms. "Just promise her that you aren't going to go around shouting out that she's a girl. If people think she's a dude, life will be better for everyone."

Avery, who knew that his sister was always rather boyish, guessed that she just didn't want anything to do with dating and boys until basketball season was over. He didn't get that logic at all, since he already had a girl's number and was planning on calling her later that night, but whatever. If he hadn't read her diary last week, he might have guessed that she was a lesbian. "Alright." Truth be told, he was still uncertain about his sister's wishes, but she had done more than enough for him in the past, so he agreed. "Alright, I promise."

They all looked over at Ike. "Ike?"

Shrugging, he put on a rather indifferent face, but Kyle could tell that it was fake. "Tch, whatever."

"Ike." There was a kind of soapy desperation in Hunter's face. "Please?"

He sighed, "Fine, I promise to keep it from the other guys that I snagged a sweet snatch."

Bursting into a smile, Hunter smiled at the Canadian boy from across the table. "Thank you so much! I'm so glad that my little brother could make a good friend like you!"

Sure, friend... If that's what it took to see that rack again...

* * *

So no one gets offended, I try to follow the flow of the source material and keep it as true to tone as I can. Obviously I have a hard time doing that in some instances, hence the mild insults. But I try to do my best while still attempting to remain true. I just want that known.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	9. Prelude To Hell

Morning dawned gold and bright over the rooftops in South Park, the pink in the sky dancing playfully against the powder-capped mountains. In the distance, birds chirped high up in the frosty trees, storing their fat up for the coming winter. The sun hung low and lazy against the horizon, burning a pale yellow, strips of which filtered through the windows of sleepy inhabitants. Taped for the cold, one window was blocked by some kind of thick board, perhaps of the poster variety. And down at the front door - passed the dull broken grass and potted flowers - there was a young man, taking a shit just outside the door.

He grunted as he loosened his stool on the small walkway. "Let that show you to fuck with Eric Cartman, you fucking bastard! Oh! Yeah, that's it..."

Eric pulled up his trousers and crossed the lawn, back to his own house. He hadn't done this kind of thing in a while now (unless you counted doing it to Kyle every single morning), but this fucker had to go! It was one thing to hit him in front of the guys - had Hunter apologized and groveled and bent to his every demented whim, Cartman might have found it in himself to forgive the new kid - but he was trying to uproot him as the coolest kid in the group! Everyone idolized Cartman, so he wasn't about to have all those years of hard work shattered by some uppity new comer...

And the best part was that this would only be the beginning. Once he found out more about that queer...

Shuffling off to harass his mother into making him breakfast, more people started to gradually wake up around the block, including the next door neighbors. True, it wouldn't be another hour or so until the Bloodworths found Cartman's gift to the family, but Eric kept his ears peeled all morning, just waiting for that sweet moment of outrage, confusion, and discovery. Oh, what a sweet moment that could be! And who knows, if they had a weak enough stomach, they might even get the hint and leave right away. That would be fucking sweet!

Unfortunately, he wasn't that blessed...

Foregoing a shower and sitting just away from his front door, Cartman watched expectant as a greedy child at Christmas during that slow stretch of time, basking in the divine visions of Hunter and his family leaving South Park for good. Just a little longer before...

"Oh, Goddammit! Hunter, Hunter, get out here and clean this up!" Mr. Bloodworth - heading out earlier for work - called inside the house as his foot stepped heedlessly into the heap of shit. He liked to be at work as early as possible, but now he wouldn't get that jump! "I have to go change! Just great!" He stormed back inside the house, barely scooting aside for the boy.

Changing places with his father, Hunter stepped outside, a small pooper-scooper in hand. He was already dressed for school, but his hat wasn't on, showing that he had tied his hair up in a large bun to be concealed later. Interesting... That was a sign of hippidom, and yet Hunter didn't act anything like a hippie, and besides, his father seemed liked the kind of tight-ass that would shave his son's head in his sleep before allowing him to be a pothead... Yes, very interesting...

Cleaning up Cartman's gift, the other 'boy' frowned. "Disgusting." Going up to the trash bin outside by the mailbox, he discarded the unwanted fudge cake. Noticing that Cartman was watching him, Hunter called out to the junior Nazi. "Did you see anyone around here?"

Sniggering in a knowing kind of fashion, Eric attempted a crude show of concern. "No, not at all. It must have been some stray."

"No, I had a dog before moving up here, so I know that this wasn't dog shit. Someone took a crap on my lawn." She thought back to what Kyle had told her last night while rattling off a list of things Cartman had done, all while giving her Kosher recipes (at her own request) so next time he and Ike didn't have to miss out on a chunk of the menu. "You sure?"

Dammit, that dirty Jew-rat bastard! Kyle must have tipped the cock-stain off at some point... Cartman would have wondered when they had become so chummy, had he not seen Kyle and Ike getting picked up form Hunter's house last night. So they thought that they could team up to take him down, did they?

Dropping all pretense, Cartman glared over at Hunter. "You can tell your best pal Kyle that I'm on to you two bastards and your plot to supplant me as the coolest kid in the school. You can also tell him that he will never be cooler than me, even if I died tomorrow in the most uncool way possible!"

"What?" Hunter was beyond baffled.

Pointing at the girl he thought was a boy, Cartman continued, "Mark my words, I will bring you down, and you will wish that you and your whole fucking ass-kiss family never heard of South Park!"

Again, all she could do was blink at Cartman, utterly lost. "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"

In truth, she couldn't honestly deny that she and Kyle were in league together, because they were planning to go to that game. To help her make friends. But as for the rest of what he was saying, there was absolutely no truth to it, not even enough to shake a stick at. She figured that like Mel Gibson, he must be a bit daffy.

"Poopsikins," Ms. Cartman called out to her son. "Don't forget your lunch money!" Standing in the doorway of her home, Ms. Cartman saw that Eric was talking to Hunter. She waved cheerfully. "Hello! You must be one of the new neighbors. I'm so sorry little Eric and I haven't been able to come visit you yet!"

Awkwardly so as to not touch herself with the pooper-scooper, Hunter returned the gesture. "Not at all. Dad's been super busy at work anyways, so it'll probably be a week or two before he can meet anyone proper."

Liane looked slightly putout. "Is that right? Well, we'll just have to come over next week then."

"Alright. Just so long as you don't bring Cartman." Hunter's eyes widened. "Did I just say that last part outloud?"

Cartman, hating to be denied anything, screamed like a child. "You fucking piece of shit! As if I wanted to go over to your fucking house!"

Ms. Cartman frowned at her son, "Now, now Eric, we need to be neighborly."

"Hunter?" Avery was standing in the doorway. His sight had gradually come back to him over the course of the night, but he still couldn't look at his sister without everything in sight fading to black. He looked over at the Cartmans. "Hi. Dad wants you."

Wondering what about, he vanished inside the house, leaving Avery alone with Eric and his mother. "Oh, you must be little Avalon."

He didn't mind correcting an adult. "Avery, dumb bitch."

She was used to such treatment, and therefore unfazed. "Right, Avery. Have you met Eric yet?"

Kyle was talking about him with Hunter in the kitchen after dinner, but he had been shooed from the conversation, so he had no idea what they were saying. They did a lot of talking in private. Too bad that Hunter was more preoccupied with sports than sex, because she wouldn't have been bad with Ike's older brother. Then again, he would have been happy with her being with anyone, so then she would be too busy to do like their father asked and watch him. He wasn't a kid anymore, he could look after himself!

"No." This was actually the first time he had even heard Cartman's first name.

Always the evil, manipulative prick, Cartman saw a very great gold mine of information. "Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot that Hunter even had a brother! He didn't mention you once all day!" Seeing the look of outrage on Avery's face, Cartman cast his bait deeper into the waters. "In fact, he was even saying how he loved being an only child."

Scowling, Avery looked like he could punch something. "Hunter said what?!"

Cartman nodded, "Oh, yeah, he kept telling the guys that he had only one thing in life that he truly loved-"

Winded, Avery now looked as of he had been punched. "Hunter would choose sports over me?!" He looked like he was going to cry. "Figures. That fucker is too busy practicing to enjoy anything!" Vengeful, Avery let slip one of his sister's secrets, "Hunter likes to talk a big game, but she has even been a a single date!"

It was as if Christmas had come early, and came back for more. "No fucking way! So he's a virgin?!"

Ms. Cartman had just been about to go inside when she overheard that. "Oh! My."

Looking over his shoulder once, Avery unknowingly hit the first nail in the coffin door. "Just ask. Hunter'll get all huffy and try to change the subject, but it's just a cover. I know for fact that Hunter has never even kissed a guy before." He caught himself, reminded bitterly of his promise last night. Pissed off as he was, his father taught him that you had to wait at least a month before you could break confidence. "Or a girl."

Cartman could almost hear the Hallelujah chorus...

* * *

Yes, that was a very lame joke about the upcoming game. Yay! Because adults are that stupid, and children that gullible.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	10. Dream or Nightmare?

The bus ride was a rather short one, but mostly pleasant; Hunter sat next to Kenny on the bus, making small talk the whole way. The quivering daint with an aint wanted to bring up the invite to the big game right away, but Kyle had advised her the previous night to wait and just drop it casually into the conversation. Cartman, who had taken the seat at the very back just behind Hunter, was continuously kicking at their backs, acting all innocent as he pretended to fiddle with his Ipod (which he finally got). Annoyed with Carman's actions but more more than accustomed to such treatment, Kenny did his best to not let it bother him, and Hunter was just too stoked at getting to sit with the parka-ed blonde to care much. Although it wasn't quite that manageable the whole ride. Getting a particularly nasty jab, she looked back once and thought about biting Cartman's head off, but Kyle's multiple warnings (and having to clean the shit on her front step earlier that morning) were starting to sink in at last. Still though, if Fat-ass kept it up...

Aware that she was grinning like an idiot during the anecdote, Hunter listened raptly to Kenny as he described the nipple-slip of some reporter on the local news. She could have cared less about tits, but obviously it mattered to him, so she was sure to look like she was paying close attention. Of course it annoyed her, but it also only served to confirm her suspicion that he wouldn't go for some small-chested freak. Friend was better than nothing. _Friend was better than nothing..._

"...And then the button just popped off!" Mr. Orange smiled fondly as he recalled the memories of the short TV time he had shared with his sister last night before work.

"Dude, and they didn't bleep it or anything?!" Hunter broke into a false mien, "That's so fuckin' sweet! I wish I had seen the report... I was too busy making dinner."

Kenny studied Hunter, thinking of Karen's desire for food that wasn't Denny's. Of his own raw, matching wish. Sure, he still went to his friends' houses and got food from them too, but more often not, it was leftovers from work. "You cook?"

Panicking in the face of potential ridicule, Hunter sought Kyle for help. "Uhhh..."

"Yeah, Ike went over to play with Hunter's little brother last night, and so we ended up having dinner there. Hunter's a pretty good cook." Kyle sounded like he was sincere, but he didn't really look away from Stan when he spoke.

Kyle was highly distraught about his best friend ever since he first laid eyes on him that day, because he had the look of a man that had just experienced the single worst night of his life, and was expecting the most miserable morning possible. What the hell happened with Wendy last night to leave the other boy in such disrepair?! It was subtle, but Stan's hair was disheveled and poking out from under his hat at odd angles, his skin looked pale as if he had neither slept nor ate, and there was a slightly stale scent clinging to his clothes. Kyle tried to ask Stan, but the other boy just banged his head against the seat in front of his own, moving only when the bus jarred his body or they flew over a pothole. If that fucking cunt told him his secret...!

Having more tact than to bring light to the situation, Kenny did what he thought was best for his friend and allowed Stan time to lick his wounds. If he had to guess what was behind the deterioration, it would be that Wendy had broken up with him yet again, and Stan was in shock still. He hoped that Stan would be alright and not turn to more drastic measures (which he had done a couple of times during the really bad break-ups), but Kyle was there for him, so it would only be a matter of time before he got over it again. Kyle would look out for him... Kyle would always be there to look out for him... Kenny envied that they had that, that they could depend on each other, that they could mean something to each other, that they would care if the other died...

Seeing how preoccupied Kyle was with a practically comatose Stan, Hunter realized last night that he never told her if he was gay or not, and in everything that had transpired, she hadn't thought to bring it up again... Well, whatever, it didn't matter if he preferred to take or give, because he was really helping her out. It was probably only pity that made him do it, but that didn't change the fact that he was still the closest thing to a friend she had.

Easily the cruelest and most oblivious, Cartman didn't even notice much of a difference in Stan. Even if he had, he wouldn't have cared, because Stan and Wendy were always breaking up. "Pft, you two homos were too busy watching each other jack-off to..." Cartman stared between Kyle and Hunter when their words penetrated his delusional mind. "Wait, did you say that you cook?! What the fuck kind of a guy cooks?!"

Butters, seated in front of Kyle and Stan and across the aisle from Kenny and Hunter, turned around to look at Cartman. "Well, geez, plenty of guys cook."

Cartman raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Do you cook?"

Still stuttering, lovable ol' Butters fidgeted with his hands, a trait he hadn't grown out of. "Well cookin' ain't so bad, Eric-"

Sighing as if his point had been made, the living culmination of Cheesy Poofs and Snacky S'mores pointed over at Butters, "See? Only gay little homos like Butters cook at our age. Everyone knows that a man only cooks when he's off in college and has to impress all his fagot friends with 'unique' skills no one actually gives a crap about."

Agitated with her next door neighbor and emboldened by her pseudo-friend's previous prompting, Hunter leaned back in her seat, shrugging nonchalantly. "What, I can cook. I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality that it doesn't bother me to admit that." She caught Kyle's eye with that line. "In fact, you guys should come over sometime, and I can prove it."

Envisioning a plate bursting with various vittles and stomach almost growling audibly at the tasty thoughts of real foodstuffs, Kenny didn't give a shit if it was almost burnt crispy at this point, so long as it was sustenance. "Alright!"

Stan rolled his head just enough to hear his reply. "Whatever."

Butters, still thinking that he was a part of that conversation, chimed in as well. "Well I have to get permission from my parents first, but it should be alright."

"Oh, uh, alright, I guess you can come over later this week..." She really didn't know what to say to Butters. Glancing sideways at Stan, she figured that she should try to have them over sooner rather than later. The poor guy just looked so down-in-the-dumps. "Stan, Kyle, Kenny, you," Hunter pointed at Butters, not a hundred percent on what his name was. "you want to come over tomorrow night?" She would have offered for today, but she figured that they would need a day in advance. Butters almost certainly would, if he really had to ask his parents.

Stan just stared around bleakly, offering no answer one way or another. Kenny, on the other hand, had something to say. "I can't make it tomorrow - I have work."

Impressed with him more than ever, Hunter had no idea that Kenny had a job. "Oh, well, when are you free?"

Tonight was the only night off he had all week; every other Tuesday and every third Wednesday Kenny would have off, and he had the early shift on the weekend. "Tonight."

A funny little sound much like a poorly concealed laugh escaped from Kyle's corner. Hunter shot him an exasperated frown. Really? Really?! Some part of Hunter's brain was screaming. Just how much shit was she going to get into before it either became too much for her to handle or she backed off?! Jesus Sucker-punching Christ, detention, one-sided fights, love nearly indistinguishable from lust, secrets, promises, plans, crap, and now dinner?! Well, since her dad was going to be so busy with work this entire week, this was the best (if not only) time to get away with it all. Hopefully, after some time elapsed, things would settle down...

"Then come on over with me after school..." She wanted to die on the spot. Kenny was coming home with her, to her house. A boy - with a penis - was going to go over to her house with her. A boy that she liked. "Can anyone else make it?" For the love of God, please, someone, anyone say 'yes'. There was no way that she could possibly handle this... Not if it was only the two of them...

It looked like Stan might have been about to say something, but Kyle quickly intervened. Whether or not he meant to help his new friend remained to be seen. "We can't tonight - Stan and I still have to study for that math test."

Great, just great. Yeah, things might settle down, if she could survive that long...

* * *

Will things ever settle down for Hunter while she lives in South Park? Was there really a math test? What's on the menu? The answer is no, yes, and chicken enchiladas. And apparently, Kyle isn't a boy with a penis, according to Hunter's scattered logic.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	11. It Hits

So it was official, Kenny was coming home from school that day with Hunter. And thanks to Kyle (and Butter's being such a little pussy goody-two shoes), they were going to be completely alone in the house, free from any kind of parental interference. It was just going to be the two teens in the new home, void of all other life and company, because Avery would be gone almost all night. For the first time in her life, Hunter was going to be completely by herself, plus one. That was scaring the living shit out of her!

Maybe it would have been a good idea to call her dad and have him cancel his plans to visit his monster of a sister. No. No matter how afraid of the prospect of being alone with Kenny she was, Hunter couldn't do that to Avery. He loved his aunt, that horrid bitch. But the Jewpacabra's sire loved the boy and treated him well, and that was all that mattered. Besides, their dad almost never spent any time with just his son, so they both needed this...

Called back into the house after talking to the Cartman family, albeit briefly, Mr. Bloodworth had informed Hunter while changing for work that morning that he would be picking up Avery from school as a special early birthday surprise, and after spending the afternoon together, would take him out to visit an old aunt in Middle Park. Mr. Bloodworth had put so much work in the previous day, and would continue to do so, so he had decided to take off a few hours early. Hunter didn't have to question why she was not invited to Aunt Rita's, because they had a long history between them, and it was Dr. Phil levels of ugly. The brittle old tampon could refuse to believe that Hunter was her brother's child all she wanted. Fucking anal cunt.

Thankfully, the start of class had given everyone something else to focus their minds on: Mr. Garrison. Seriously. Once again, Garrison was telling Kenny to take that cold place in the corner so the more privileged students could be a little less miserable, and once again, he was met with resilience. Feelings for the blonde aside, Hunter really saw no reason why they couldn't at least change off places daily. She would have fought for the same right for any one of her fellow students, with one obvious exception. Token, Bebe, Kyle, and a couple of others were fairly impressed that the new guy (or as Kyle knew, new girl) was so obstinate about the matter, but still a larger majority thought that it was idiotic. Stupid or not, it was taking up class time, and that was never a bad thing.

"Kenny, what did we talk about yesterday?" Mr. Garrison put his hands to his hips, fed up with all the damn teenagers he had to teach. Why the hell did he have to fill in and try to teach these ungrateful little bastards?! "You. Are. Poor. That means that you sit on the floor and let the other students sit at the desks."

It was Hunter that had taken the place on the floor, insisting back on the bus that Kenny take the desk today, no matter what the teacher said. It was also Hunter that was doing all the talking. "Mr. Garrison, I really don't mind sitting on the ground today. In fact, I see no reason why we can't change places in a peaceful manner."

Groaning, Mr. Garrison saw that Hunter was going to be a problem. "Hunter, it's simple logic why Kenny has to sit in the corner, not just economics and math. Being white trash, Kenny is doomed to a life of poverty, failure, and trouble, so he's not a priority. Because of his social caste, he won't have to pay attention in class, and so it's just a waste of space having him in here at all. You, being middle-class, will at least have a chance at mediocrity, so you have to sit where I can keep an eye on you, so I can make sure that you're at least pretending to pay attention."

Maybe that was true, but that didn't mean that Kenny didn't matter. After all, if the young McCormick boy had stayed in school this long, there was still hope for him yet. "I don't care! He matters as much as any of the rest of us, so I'm not moving!"

Most of the students were amused by this still, but after thirty minutes of pointless back and forth, Kyle thought that Hunter was being a major dumbass. Yes, Kenny did matter, and it was incredibly fucked up how Mr. Garrison was treating him, but that didn't mean that she had to go this far to prove that. The whole thing was ridiculous. "Oh, Jesus Christ."

"Kyle!" Mr. Garrison had had enough of this argument, and Kyle was just the means he needed to end it. "Kenny, Kyle, and Hunter, I want you three in the principal's office now! I have a class to not teach!"

Grumbling to himself about other people and their stupidity, Kyle grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder as he made his way for the door. Had the debate only gone on for a couple of minutes, Kyle might have sided with his peer, but as it stood, both sides were being turds. Still better than a giant douche though, which is what Garrison was. Shrugging himself out of the desk, Kenny followed suit. He really didn't care where he sat, it was a simple as that. They both waited for Hunter to join them, and together, they made their way out of the room.

"Fucking asshole!" Still fuming, Hunter glowered and glared. Inspired by her mother's past volunteer work, she took this kind of thing to heart. "He has no right to treat people that way!"

Mumbling something along the lines of indifference, Kenny admitted that he heard that kind of stuff all the time, even at home when his parents grilled him about getting a full-time job to help support the family. But all the same, it was kind of nice to hear someone stick up for him - not that he needed it. That part he didn't own up to aloud. Muffled, he told Hunter to not sweat it.

Kyle had the feeling that she wouldn't let it die so easily. He wondered if it was because of her 'love' for Kenny, or if she was really just that passionate about equality. "Yeah, someone probably needs to change his tampon." He did his best to make his annoyance at being sent to the principal's office as obvious as he possibly could. "Even the female activists at the school aren't this pissed off."

Daggers flying through her eyes, Hunter stopped walking at pointed her finger at Kyle. "I'm not on my period! Jerk. And for another thing..." Her shoulders slumped forth and some of the fire was extinguished as something in his comment reminded her of her predicament with Kenny. Perhaps it was something along the lines of her identity being put out there. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something," She subtly jerked her heads towards Kenny, "If you have a moment?"

Kenny looked between the other two, wondering just what was up with them. The way that they were acting, it was if they had already shared some kind of a bonding experience that helped them to understand the other on a level that outsiders couldn't. Just what happened between them in only a night...?

Was it possible that...?

No, that was impossible... Wasn't it? Kyle had specifically told him that it was only Stan, only his best friend and no one else, so it couldn't be, not in a day. Kenny knew from sheer observance that it was true, that Kyle had only been interested in Stan, so it must have been something else, something about Hunter... But what?

Was it possible that Hunter wasn't what he seemed?

Years of friendship with someone meant knowing a great deal about one another, and they were no exception. Kyle was the only person that knew what Kenny was doing so late in the dark hours of night, and Kenny was one of the few that knew Kyle's secret (the random slut assumed he was the sole person Kyle had chosen to confide in, since Stan was obviously not an option). Only a handful in the existing world knew that the young lad was in fact a bisexual; but Kenny thought that word ill-fitting for the Jew, since Stan seemed to be the only guy that Kyle had fancied. No, there was definitely something about Hunter that didn't sit right, and a part of him knew it from the very beginning...

* * *

Just to be absolutely clear, Hunter is scared of being alone with Kenny because she likes him, but being alone with Kyle was fine, because she doesn't like him in that way. And Kenny is only a random slut in reference to the episode "Terrence and Phillip: Behind the Blow". And now, it's time to prepare for the flashbacks!

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	12. Shared Nightmare Of A Bygone Age

Darkness was falling fast in the streets of a quiet mountain town in Colorado, the snow twinkling like a sheet of tiny diamonds in the dying light. Houses looked like forbidding monuments of a forgotten age, the squares of yellow flickering out one by one, dousing the rough pavement in colorless misery. A hollow wind blew through brittle branches, creaking in a symphony of cold notes and even chillier temperatures. It was a desolate kind of night...

Kyle Brofloski had gotten into yet another fight with his younger brother about this or that (their parents out at some couple's retreat), and as a result, all caution had been thrown out the proverbial window as the teen stormed down the sidewalk, biting his lip against the breeze that ruffled his thin sweater. He really wasn't all that dressed for long treks through the elements, but the redhead was so steamed by his younger sibling that it seemed the more appealing option. Normally he might have headed for his best friend's place, but he had it on good authority that he would be with his girlfriend, so yet again, Stan was not an option. It seemed like more and more, the older they got, Stan was becoming more and more impossible to reach.

So instead he opted for his other close friend, Kenny McCormick. In some lights, the McCormick household really wasn't a very desirable location, but on this night, it was the best that Kyle had, and since Kenny didn't have the money to go out, it was almost guaranteed that the other boy would be home. Sure, Kenny might have had company, but Kyle was more than willing to wait a couple of minutes for Kenny to kick her out. After all, it was bros before hoes.

It was a perfect plan, but what Kyle didn't expect was to find that no one was home. Of course his parents would be out on the same couple's retreat (a groupon making the visit possible for all the parents), but to see that both Kenny and Karen were out was... Well, actually, it did kind of make sense, since if it had been Kyle in Kenny's place, he wouldn't have wanted to be at home either.

But what was he supposed to do now? With Kenny gone who knows where, the only other place to turn would be Cartman's, and that was the last thing Kyle needed right now, to be ripped on. Thankfully for him, the town had a way of making things happen, so that plea was answered almost the minute he turned around to leave the property.

Breaking through the gale, a low cry - more of a whimper really - cracked the stale, vodka soaked air. It was coming from just behind the meth lab in the backyard, and it was human, but it was so weak, so frail... Intrigued, Kyle wandered around the rotting structure, expecting to find a junkie or something. What he found instead was much more alarming...

"Oh my God, Kenny?!" Kyle ran to his friend's side. Kenny looked just barely conscious, mind hanging on by just a thread. At first Kyle thought that he had just gotten into his parents' stash or something, but he quickly realized that Kenny was bleeding badly from a knife wound in his abdomen, somewhere around the kidney, and though half-lidded, his eyes were as clear as the stars winking in the black velvet sky. "Shit, we have to get you inside!"

Putting all his strength into it, Kyle hoisted his friend up into a standing position, and he proceeded to lug him inside, through the back door. Being what they were, the McCormick's didn't have to worry about theft, so the locks were often only used to try and keep the police out when they were home. Intimately acquainted with the layout of the house, Kyle dragged Kenny into the kitchen, so he could use the rags to stem the flow of blood. It was bad, but not bad enough to call an ambulance over. Bustling around, Kyle had left Kenny on the floor.

Doing the best he could, Kyle bandaged Kenny up and put him in bed. All they could do now was wait...

**[South Park]**

Slipping away and coming back throughout the course of the night, Kenny finally came to just after midnight. Aching all over, he sat up to find that he was shirtless, his waist tied up with towels and left wrist splinted with popsicle sticks and dirty socks from the laundry. There was only one person he knew that would know to do that for him, so the boy gingerly removed himself from the bed, unsurprised to find that the world was spinning on its axis. Taking his time as he came down the hall and into the living room, Kenny thought back to how he had ended up in this position...

Ambling into the darkened room lit only with the tv and full of the sounds of aliens being shot to death, the blonde was unfazed to see Kyle sitting on the couch. Apparently, he had preoccupied himself with his friend's X-Box Whatever while he waited for him to wake up.

"Kenny," Kyle paused the game and chucked the controller away as the game saved his spot and turned itself off. Now that his friend was awake, he could get to the bottom of what happened. "What the hell happened to you?"

A part of him considered lying, fabricating any one of the countless believable stories, but obviously his friend was truly frightened for him (he would have bailed and/or acted as if nothing had happened if he wasn't). It would have been better to lie, easier even, but he couldn't keep this secret to himself, not any more...

Sighing, Kenny sat down next to his friend. "I was at work when it happened... A customer got angry with me, and he pulled a knife." Kenny wasn't afraid of dying, because it happened to him quite often. "I thought that he was going to kill me, but the wound was too shallow..."

Kyle cocked his head to the side. "A customer did that to you? Didn't anyone else at work-" Kyle realized that Kenny didn't have work that entire day. "Wait, what do you mean a customer did that to you? Kenny?" Kyle looked at Kenny, sizing him up. "I thought that you stopped helping your parents sell drugs."

Face the perfect mask of sorrow, he shook his head, "I'm not selling drugs." He waited for it to dawn on Kyle. It didn't take long. "After Kevin died, there was less money coming in, so I had to take a second job. At first I had no idea what to do, but one day it just clicked."

"No." Kyle didn't need to hear this, to know that he had been partially responsible... "Kenny, tell me that it isn't because of us..." Cartman had been the one to crack on what a slut Kenny was, but it was true that neither Kyle nor Stan had stepped up to deny it. They had even joined in at times, but he had no idea that it was going to lead to Kenny actually becoming a whore.

Being the good sort that he was, Kenny didn't really blame them for the decision, not fully. "Face it, sex is one of the only things I'm really good at, so why not use that to help out my family?"

Kyle refused to believe that it was his only way out. "No, you don't have to do this."

Making a promise to himself as much as to his friend, Kenny swore that it would only be temporary. "It's not forever - only until I graduate and can get a better job." Kyle obviously had his doubts about that. "You trusted me with your secret, so now I'm asking you to keep mine. Please, dude."

It went against all his better judgment to agree, and it took a long time for him to come around and really mean it, but finally Kyle had agreed to help Kenny keep his second job a secret, so long that he kept his word and quit by graduation...

* * *

So it's a super cereal chapter. Serial? Anyways, much more serious than the present.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	13. Somewhere Private

Side-by-side in a neat little row, Kenny and Kyle flanked either side of their female companion as the principal stared them down, demanding to have answers. Principle Victoria (whom had stepped up to the position of high school principle after the old one retired last year) looked at the students before her desk, fingers steepled together. The boys had been fairly common fixtures since their childhood, but more often than not, they didn't seem to get into trouble individually. And this new boy Hunter, his record had been immaculate since enrolling into the basketball team in middle-school. So why where they in here?

"Boys, Mr. Garrison tells me that you were disrupting his class?" She spoke after a long moment of silence.

Face-to-face with the ugly head of trouble, much of the wind had been sapped from Hurricane Hunter. Good, Kyle thought to himself, that might teach her better than to go around petitioning for the paradox that was fairness in high school. "Yes, Principal Victoria." Kyle could see it coming before she had even opened her mouth. "But Mr. Garrison was discriminating Kenny! I told him that I didn't mind switching seats with Kenny, but he wouldn't listen to me!"

That sounded about right. "Be that as it may, you were still disrupting class, so I'm afraid that we can't just let this go." They probably could have, but being so determined to have a winning team, the silvering blonde had an idea. "I'll tell Mr. Garrison that you can both sit on the floor for the rest of the quarter, and after that, you and Kenny will switch places until we can get the budget figured out." Victoria could almost hear Hubert's outraged reply as he made the formal announcement, 'Fine, you can both sit on the floor and waste your lives together!'. "On the condition that Hunter joins the team, and all three of you join the dance committee."

They could have pointed out that Hunter had already replaced Cartman, and that the winter formal wasn't for another few months, in which time everyone would probably forget that they had been volunteered. But why do that when they got off basically scotfree?

"Ok, Principal Victoria, I agree to your terms." Hunter waited only long enough to make it look like she had to consider it, that she wasn't obvious in her haste.

"Sure." Kenny didn't have to think twice about his answer.

Kyle wanted a bit more justice than that, but there was no guarantee that it would work in his favor, so he gave in with moderate reluctance. He had put up with a lot of Cartman's shit, so in comparison, this was nothing; and anyways, it wasn't like Garrison actually taught them anything, but he liked to strive for high marks in all his classes, nonsensical as some of them were. "Fine."

Beaming, the older woman held out her hand, "Welcome to the team, Mr. Bloodworth."

Shaking hands and sealing the deal, the trio departed from the office in relatively high spirits - they got off, and more than that, they were unscathed, because there was no way that anyone would remember that they had to help out the dance committee set up the formal. Thank God that the Principal was such a pothead and the system was so ineffectual...

Seeing as there was still plenty of time left before they had to get to their next period, Kenny slunk away from the other two and departed just outside the office, not one word exchanged. Kyle knew better than to ask questions lest he not like the answer, and Hunter was hot for answers from the Jew, so she wasn't about to blow this chance. Heading for a more private place to talk without running the risk of getting caught out of class, Kyle and Hunter found themselves outside of the janitor's closet.

Skepticism running equal to his own irritation on her face, Hunter gaped at Kyle, mind racing to the possibility that his hat was just a bit too tight over his head and was overheating his brain. "Seriously?"

He had a simple explanation, if she could stand to listen to reason. "Someone could see us in the bathroom; besides the door is never locked, because someone stole the only set of keys." That someone was Craig. "So do you want to talk or not?"

Opening the door as if expecting a party of serial killers and slashers on the other side, Hunter bit her lower lip in uncertainty as it opened and revealed a perfectly ordinary storage space. On one hand, she really did have to talk to someone about this growing monster calling itself sheer, unbridled terror, but on the other, that room looked just a little bit bigger than two full-length lockers put together, and they could smell the ammonia-heavy window cleaner already.

Looking over at Kyle again, the girl realized that her chance would soon be spent if she didn't get to it. Footsteps muffled by the powdered chemicals that had spilled-over, she headed into the closet, mute as Kyle joined her in the darkness. Nose-to-nose, the hollow was smaller than anticipated, and as he closed the door, the last thing that either could clearly make out was a whitish, crystalline haze. They couldn't really know it at the time, but going into that closet was one of the stupidest decisions possible; the room was poorly ventilated to begin with and ill-needed them to stir up the chemical fumes and floating sawdust.

"I know that I keep coming to you, and bet that its really annoying, but you have to understand that I have no one else to turn to... My..." Her voice became clipped, and it sounded hollow. "My family really doesn't approve of me because they are just so perfect and devoted to God," It was obvious that she was speaking with drenching irony, that her family was far from it. "So besides Avery, there really isn't anyone else I can turn to. It was never easy for me to make friends because we kept moving, and I was part of the reason that we kept moving. And the friends I thought I had... Well, they were my friends as much as anyone you meet on facebook."

Pity was something that the kids of South Park all knew very well - largely in part of Cartman - but it was somehow different what Kyle was feeling. Maybe it boiled down to knowing that Hunter was really a female, but it also could have been the fact unlike Eric, Kyle actually liked Hunter. "Maybe things will be different here, better even."

Too dark to see, she flashed him a wan smile. "I hope so. That's why I'm so scared about being alone with him - I've been the cause of so much turmoil, and I'm sick of uprooting my brother."

"Then why do you keep lying?" Everything else seemed to be lining up in a relatively cohesive manner.

Having the impression that it wasn't just the ammonia working, Kyle could hear her voice cracking around the edges. "Maybe I'm a pathological liar. I hate feeling like I fit in better as a guy, and I hate that I can never open up and be myself, because every time I do, I get hurt. But I know that that's selfish to my family. I tried to stop, that was last time, and it just became so much worse. They always said that the truth was supposed to set you free, but they were wrong."

Fear was a powerful enemy, and worse, it was one that you could only overcome on your own.

As a secret-keeper, it was against his morals to just confide what wasn't his to tell, but the boy had to tell her something that could help ease her trepidations. "Kenny's totally into tits-"

Forlorn at the fifth confirmation (today) of that fact, Hunter couldn't help but to look down at her own tightly bound chest, hidden beneath layers and layers of cloth and lies. "I know that already. That's one of the reasons he can never find out what I am..." By this point, it felt there could have been a whole book filled with reasons.

"Yes, he likes huge breasts, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't date a girl with a smaller chest." He thought back to an old girlfriend of Kenny's. "Jessica Duke was almost completely flat-chested, and they went out for three months." Come to think of it, Kyle could not remember for the life of him why they had even broken up. But that wasn't important right now anyways. "It all boils down to confidence."

Hunter clicked her tongue impatiently. "I know that I have to have more confidence in myself as a girl, or else no one will ever like me."

"Actually, I was going to say that you should probably have less confidence in yourself, if you really want to date Kenny." Kyle realized how backwards that sounded, but almost all of Kenny's girlfriends had been train-wrecks in one way or another.

Tammy Warner, despite being poorer than Kenny and a complete slut that was notorious for giving guys blow jobs in the T. G. I. Friday 's parking lot, was probably one of the more decent girls he had dated. Oh, wait, there was that other girl from that "Getting Gay with Kids" choir thing... She wasn't so bad either. Wait, why did they even break-up? Fuck, come to think of it, Kyle could barely remember why any of Kenny's relationships had failed...

That was just retarded, and she was nowhere near that desperate yet. "Yeah, I think I'll not do that." The misty-eyed lass looked at Kyle hopefully. From the looks of it, the ammonia was really aggravating her eyes, but class wasn't over just yet, so they had to remain in that sliver of a room for just a little bit longer. "Any other advise on what I should do to get through this visit?"

There was one thing that might have helped her, in the event that her secret should come out somehow. But it was a long-shot anyways, and not to mention a really dumb idea. In fact, Kyle had no clue as to why something like that would even cross his mind in the first place... Honestly, who would kiss Hunter without questioning it? And who was to say that a single meaningless kiss would help her have the balls to deal with it if Kenny found out that she was a girl? Kyle really needed smarter friends. Thankfully there was one other thing they could try. She could try. Obviously he thought that it was something she could try.

"Listen, all you have to do is act like it's me." Thinking of a platonic friend normally did the trick in the movies, so surely it would work for her, if she really didn't want to try the other thing about ditching all confidence. "Think of me, and just be yourself, and it should all work itself out."

Think of Kyle? Well, it was better than abandoning any shred of confidence she had that wasn't sports related. "I guess I could try that." Hunter smiled at him, truly grateful that she had met someone like Kyle. "Thanks Kyle, for helping me like this."

He returned the grin with a dull sinking sensation in his stomach, praying for her sake that it worked...

* * *

Wow, this chapter went through three different paths and what feels like a hundred incarnations before finding this... And obviously, Jessica Duke is just a random name I came up with for the sake of the story. There might have been more I wanted to address, but I don't recall now...

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	14. Tom Cruise Dosen't Stay Here Anymore

Figuring that the conference was over at that point, they both reached for the door handle at the same exact time. Stupid really, given that there was still a couple of minutes to go by this point, but that was better than being caught together. Colliding just over the cool metal, bare hands nudging each other with an instant warmth, the teens looked at each other and mumbled small, empty apologies. Thankfully it was too dark to make out the soft tints lighting up pale flesh. They could certainly feel it in their cheeks.

About to say something after an elongated pause, the first bell rang and the duo could make out the distant sound of scraping doors and excited yells as class let out, the stampeding herd hurrying towards the next period. At least half of the student body was coming their way, so if they didn't want to get caught coming out of the closet together, they figured that they had best stay put for just a little longer. Just until it was safe to come out.

Staring at each other in the near darkness, the danger of discovery mounted as people came closer and closer to their hiding place - suddenly a very bad idea - and worse still, the invisible toxins were wrapping them in an increasingly lemony scent. More than overpowering, they were almost soaked to the point that many a mind (assuming that anyone saw them) would jump to the conclusion that they had used all that lemon to spray away the smells of a homosexual encounter.

Once the sounds outside had began to fade and dissipate, Kyle reached for the door knob once more; there were a couple stragglers now, but if they timed it properly, it wouldn't matter. Twisting the silver bulb, he found that the knob was stuck and wouldn't budge. "It's stuck."

"What?" Panicking slightly at the announcement, Hunter looked over at Kyle. "It can't be - my second biggest fear in life is getting buried alive. Trapped, in a small little space as the oxygen expires..." Her eyes became rather wide as she looked around. "I'm going to die in here..."

"You're not going to die in here." He said that, but he wasn't so convinced himself. The vapors were very strong and were already clawing away at his judgment.

Absolutely positive about their fates, she shook her head at his denial. "But I am. My friend Carol, she told me that this gypsy woman that reads her fortune said that 'it would end in a small dark place with a boy in a green hat', and we're in a small, dark place, and you have a green hat..." The second bell rang then, signaling that it was time to be in class. "What was that?!" Terror increasing, Hunter looked around, half-expecting the room to change somehow. It looked the same, so she settled down somewhat, getting on with her explanation. "Or maybe her name was Cheryl?"

Really, a gypsy woman? That was completely retarded! "Hunter, relax. Someone is bound to realize that we're not in class, so they'll send someone out to find us."

But who was to say that they would still be alive by the time that they found their bodies? Pressing herself against the door, she shoved and pushed, bouncing off like the polar end of a magnet. She couldn't die this way, there was still so much more that she had to do with her life! Banging against the door, she cried out for help. "Hey, hey, there are people in here! Let us out!"

Kyle watched her fight against the door for a good two minutes before he spoke again. "No one can hear you."

Sliding down the door, Hunter fell to the floor on her knees. "I don't want to die like this." By this point, it became clear that she had completely given up hope and was convinced that her demise was eminent. "I don't want to die alone..."

Joining her on the ground, he severally misjudged the amount of space there really was, knees knocking into Hunter's as he lowered himself to her level. Squatting down on the ground, any floorspace there might have been was obliterated - his spine was grinding against the mop bucket, and they were being prodded by various boxes from either side. He shuddered to think of how banged up they would be after this was all sorted out, one one or another.

Awkwardly, Kyle wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled the girl close, just like he would have done for Ike. He was fairly sure that they might actually die in that closet before help came, but that didn't mean that they both had to think that outloud. "You're not alone."

Sobbing, Hunter buried her head in his shoulder...

**[South Park]**

"You're late." Poking his head out of the broken stall in the boy's room, Craig looked over at Kenny to make sure that he was alone. "I was beginning to think that maybe you were going to back out."

Kenny wouldn't have minded if the deal had gone astray somehow, but he wasn't going to back out his end of their bargain, and he told Craig as much. Of the four, Kenny was the one that Craig most trusted, since he had been the only one that had even tried to pay him back after the Peruvian Pan Flute thing, although he had only been able to cough up about eight bucks. Still though, at least he had tried, and that was more than he could have said about the rest of them.

That really wasn't a factor in this agreement through, since they had been doing this before Kenny had thought to repay Craig. And after. It had originally started out as just sharing cigarettes, but then it kind of grew out from there, and things got so out of hand at one point, neither could remember an entire week of their lives, but for the most part they were glad for that fact...

Craig moved over so that Kenny could squeeze himself into the stall. "So, do you have the stuff?"

Knowing that many a door in the school were busted to the point that closing them all the way would cause a lock-in, the blonde was careful to leave it ajar. But at least in the stall, there was wiggle room to escape. Kenny recalled with vivid details the day that he had gotten locked in the janitor's closet with Craig, but after that little incident, he was relieved to hear that Craig had taken the keys so he could think about helping out his friends if they ever got trapped in there. Thank God that day had been a half-day, and pretty much all of the other students had left by that point, because finding them in that state would have been awkward. It almost could have happened because of the janitor, had Craig not bullied him into silence.

Reaching into his inner jacket pocket, the poor boy extracted a small brown paper bag, just large enough to house three or four plastic baggies. "The top one is yours, but the rest are for Stripe's family."

Poor Stripe, passing away of old age. At least he had a family and didn't die alone...

* * *

Yep, that was a reference to another show I dearly love, "Archer"! At first I wasn't going to put in what Kenny got up to while Kyle and Hunter found themselves trapped, but I changed my mind. Although I could decide exactly what they would be getting up to, so I tried to leave that bit vague. Yeah, subtly and vagueness aren't my strongest suits...

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	15. Closet Rape

Class had started already, but looking around the room, it was obvious to everyone with eyes that they were four students short. Craig was mostly accounted for, in the sense that it was a known fact that he would wander at his own discretion, and Kenny would bail if a good enough offer came in to play, but Kyle? And Hunter? Those that shared homeroom knew that the three boys had been called away to the office, but Cartman had the hunch that their disappearing act had little to do with school...

Eric was HIV positive that those two dirty bastards were scheming something together, and he didn't like it, not one little bit. Kyle had already proven himself to be untrustworthy and a complete dick, so his participation in Hunter's scheme was far from shocking. Hunter was, admittedly, still something of a mystery, but one that was lacking only a couple of pieces. Oh yes, Cartman thought that he had the entire picture worked out, at least for the most part.

Hunter was a hermaphrodite, but instead of possessing both sets of genitalia, he had titties. Probably a ken doll vagina too, the fucking freak. He could deny it all he wanted and try to hide it by blocking out his window, but Cartman had already seen the proof of that himself (well, the tits), but the fact that Hunter was a genetic abomination would only carry so much weight. Eric didn't fret about that so much though, since he had learned more of his enemy since that first day, like the fact that he had a major boner for Kenny. Knowing Kenny, the blonde could take that either way, so his reaction alone wasn't a great foundation for revenge. Avery might have been though... Yes, that boy could prove quite useful...

Still though, it didn't bode well that they were absent. Figuring that stopping the conspiracy against him would better serve his time than what the teacher was trying to force down his throat, Eric called over to the balding dweeb in tapped up glasses before the blackboard. "I have to take a shit!"

Blinking through lens two sizes too big for his face, he twitched when he saw who had spoken. "Take a pass from the wall." He knew better than to make Cartman stay - the entire class had paid dearly for that mistake. "And if you see either Mr. Broflovski or Mr. Bloodworth, tell them to come to class."

Grumbling about taking a lame pass, Eric shuffled over to the teachers desk and took the petite block from the hook just behind the older man, scowling even deeper as he left the classroom, thoughts of murder and betrayal dancing through his mind. Oh, he was certain that he was going to get them first, even if it was the last thing that he did...

So where would a couple of rats go to hide? His first thought was of the bathroom since it was a pretty good place to hold a conference, but being in the secret planing stages of their coup, they probably wouldn't want to be overheard. And being the studious types, they wouldn't want to be seen out-of-class, so that eliminated anywhere a teacher would be...

And then it hit him - they would hide in a place so below their snobbish standards, so beneath their radar, no one would ever think to look for them there! They were hiding in the janitor's closet! Normally people only used it for quickies and selling drugs, so it wasn't the place that Kyle would have known about on his own, but because he was friends with the closet's most frequent user, he obviously had. Oh, he had them now! Making a mad dash for his enemies' lair as if his life depended on it, the little tyrant rex stopped short outside his target.

Frantic, there was a mad kind of banging from the storeroom, and what sounded like a woman crying. Hunter, no doubt. "Rape!" The scream intensified, as did the struggle against the door. "RAPE!"

What a retard; everyone in the school knew that a majority of the doors had faulty locks, and the janitor's closet was the worst one yet. But still, Cartman had to hand it to Kyle, because he had no idea that the cocksucker would pull something so outrageously bold during school hours, although rape was not surprising, given what his people had done to Christ.

Yet if they were in there, where was Kenny? Thinking of the fact that the closest was only big enough for a twosome, it was impossible for both Kyle and Kenny to be in there with Hunter, so that meant that Kenny must have been off somewhere with Craig. If in fact that was the case, and they were in fact still on school grounds, they would undoubtedly be in the bathroom...

Reaching into his pocket, Cartman fished out his phone, skipping over the first several contacts - all the numbers for restaurants and takeout - until he reached those of his friends. Friends? More like pawns and allies. Typing out a series of instructions, he left a rather lengthy text for Butters.

**[South Park]**

It was impossible to discern how much time had elapsed in that closet, the threads of fate snagging on the noose that was Hunter's faltering composure, the individual strands strangling Kyle as he did his utmost to remain strong for the pair of them. The girl was still entangled in her friend's strong arms, but what had started out as a friendly and comforting gesture was quickly becoming an embrace of restraint, his arms the sleeves of a stylish white jacket. If the liar got any more wild with fear, there might be leftover marks from where he had to dig his fingers for a better grip.

Thrashing around as the air became more saturated with unnatural dust - the finer particles finding their way deeper into the bloodstream - anxiety intensified into panic, and Hunter was almost writhing in place, out of her mind as one of her worst fears slowly came true. She struggled against Kyle, crying out loudly, praying that someone out of class might hear her cries in passing. "Help us! We're trapped in here!" She tried again, getting louder and louder. "Rape! RAPE!" If the cry of rape didn't do anything, nothing would.

Yes, the screaming might have helped someone (or multiple someones, which was hopefully not the case) locate them and come to the rescue, but if she kept yelling like that, there was no telling how many chemicals were seeping into her lungs, building up in her system, just waiting to kill her. The way that Kyle saw it, there were two answers to this dilemma, and while they would both work to some degree, only one was truly practical...

Yanking the girl closer with mild difficulty, Kyle did the only thing that made sense in that situation and covered her mouth with her own beanie. There was probably already irreparable damage to her organs with all her shouting, but the faster that she shut up, the bigger her chances of survival would be. Of course the redhead could have just told her to pipe down, but he knew that she would argue back, only wasting precious time.

For her part, all Hunter could do was stare at Kyle as the heather-grey fabric was suddenly pulled over her eyes and mouth, blinking repeatedly in disbelief as she caught on to his plan. That was pretty brilliant, and to her stomach-churning shame, the remaining rationality in her mind forced her to realize that because he was so busy protecting her, he was left vulnerable. If they got out of this alive, she would owe him big time...

But that fraction was so small, it would frequently slip away into something like the fear of a cornered animal...

* * *

Much like the last chapter, I had a bitch of a time trying to bang this one out, but I think I have it now. Oh, and this is actually a double chapter, so stick around and read the next one while you're here!

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	16. It Was A Boring Closet Anyway

Humming a happy little tune to himself that sounded a lot like the song that had made him an internet sensation in the fourth grade, sweet adorable little Butters had barely just finished washing his hands when he got a text message from Eric. Oh boy, what horrible prank did he in store now? Many a times Butters had considered just deleting his number, sick and tired of being the butt of nearly all Cartman's hostilities, but he just couldn't bring himself to do something so final, and just so downright mean. Drying his hands first, Butters read the message not once but twice, just to be sure that it had said what he thought it had.

_Butt-ass go 2 batrom & call me asap spekerfone! Make sur Kenny heres if u fuck this up 4 me i will go 2 ur hoes and kill u while you sleep do u unersand me? I WILL KILL U! break in cut off ur dick make you watch while i feed it to ur parents and kill u! DO NOT FUCK UP!_

Well geez! If he were to be killed, he was pretty sure that he would get grounded! What a pickle.

"Ouch." Cutting through the silence, Craig's nasally monotone could be heard from inside one of the bathroom stalls.

Startled by the sound because he had thought that he had been alone the entire time, Butters glanced over his shoulder and saw that not one person was in a stall, but two. Since the first person was Craig, and only three other people were missing from class, the second was either Kenny, Kyle, or Hunter. Peering at the pairs of legs, he could tell that it was neither Kyle nor Hunter, because Kyle was wearing light jeans today, and Hunter was in dark skinny jeans. So by process of elimination, it was Kenny in the stall with Craig.

Why would they being sharing a stall? And didn't they know that they had to go to class? As much as Butters wanted to inform them of their tardiness, he was reminded of Eric's request, so he could not. Holding his phone back up, Butters did as he was told and called Cartman, first putting the speaker on.

"Eric? It's Butters." He hoped that this wouldn't take long, because he himself still had to get back to class.

Pleased with his little puppet's promptness, Cartman replied, irritated that Butters always had to say that it was him. "No shit. So," He tried to act as if this was per hearsay, "I heard that Kyle and Hunter totally ditched school. Where do you think that they went?"

Dependable as ever, Butters really didn't think that it was much in Kyle's character to ditch school. "I don't know about Hunter, but that's not really like Kyle to ditch."

Cartman sighed irritably, "Butters, Kyle is a Jew, so deceit is in his blood."

"Oh, yeah."

Now came the importance of Kenny's presence. "I think that they're plotting something together." Well that was true, but it wasn't what Cartman thought, or even what he was about to imply. "I saw in gym yesterday that Hunter was totally checking Kenny out."

_I was in that class._ Craig thought to himself, _If Hunter really was gay, then he easily could have been scoping out all the boys in that class. But out of everyone, why Kenny? He wasn't anything too_ special... Well, maybe that wasn't strictly true...

Ever the innocent, Butters didn't see anything wrong with that. "Well maybe he likes Kenny."

This was almost stupidly easy, almost as if he were directly in control of the other boy. "I think it was more than that - I think that Hunter wants to rape Kenny, and Kyle is helping him plan it."

"But why would Kyle do that to his friend? He's been friends with Kenny forever!" Butters sounded very alarmed, as if he thought that maybe he could be next on the list.

For that, Cartman didn't know why Kyle was so tight with the new guy, but it was an undeniable fact that their partnership was pure evil, like that guy in the diaper or the British douchebag that was all against Hitler in that one war. "I don't know, I don't think like those pole-smokers! Dammit, Butters! I bet that they are like each other's second place silver medals. Shit," Cartman - finding the conversation boring - totally pulled a Solo and cut the conversation short. "Someone's coming." He hung up, and there was silence.

Stunned, Butters hadn't been expecting that to be what Eric wanted, and it was even more confusing that he wanted Kenny to hear that. Oh, fiddlesticks, he was going to be late for class! Putting that conundrum aside for the time being, Butters dashed from the restroom, almost forgetting his hall pass. Halfway to the door, he remembered it by the sink.

Once Butters had gone, Kenny and Craig looked at each other once more, the blonde opening his mouth for the first time since they had company. "You still have the keys on you?"

Cartman was almost never a source to be trusted, and more often not, he had been proven to be frighteningly cunning towards those that had crossed him, so the validity of this was little more than a malicious rumor, but all the same, what if it was true? Not the part about Kyle, because that just wasn't something he'd do, but the part about Hunter? That really could have been true...

Studying his friend as if he were something really interesting, Craig wondered what was running through his mind at that moment. Normally thoughts were a very private matter that he didn't care to delve into, but at this juncture, Craig wouldn't have minded being a mind reader. "What will you do if it's true?"

"Just give me the keys." Kenny held out his hand, demanding that Craig cough them up. He might not have admitted to having them, but the blue-eyed boy knew that Craig didn't go to school without them.

Battling internally over possibly getting involved in something outlandish and impossible or being stifled in class, Craig considered just handing over the medium-sized brass ring with the unworded stipulation that it be returned before lunch, but there really wasn't a choice. So instead of watching in mildly wanning interest as the pretty blonde thing left to look for his friends - figuring like Kenny that they were trapped somewhere - the stoic raven of prophecy decided to accompany Kenny.

* * *

For the record, writing Cartman's text kind of killed me inside. And seriously, what were Kenny and Craig doing for so long, I wonder? I leave that up to your own imagination. So yay, did you all enjoy that double chapter? I'm mad, because there was something I wanted to address, but I can't rememeber what it was...

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	17. Freedom Never Looked Chalkier

Just as Hunter's body gave up the fight and fell into silent resignation in Kyle's arms - the boy's head twisted at an uncomfortable angle as he pressed his face against her collarbone in an attempt to filter out the tainted air - they could just barely make out the noise of people approaching their tomb. Daring to dream, they gazed at the other optimistically, exchanging silent confirmation that they were both hearing it. It had seemed so impossible in that zero hour, and yet just as everything started to crash in around them like the last grains from the shovel, there was this one small ray of hope...

On the verge of moving his head to call out to their possible mystery savior, Kyle felt her hand against the back of his neck; it was gelid to the point of death and tremulous as a paper snowflake in a blizzard of chainsaws and bloody tampons, but even still, there was enough strength behind the gesture for him to get the idea to keep his head down. Kyle had done so much for Hunter during their thralldom alone, so it went without saying that she owed him this much. There was no ceiling for her debt (much like the economy), and worse, there seemed to be no one act large enough to sufficiently convey a sense of balance but this was a start. It was a small beginning, but it was an embarkation all the same.

Jerking her head away from Kyle and parallel to the right side of the door, Hunter cried out once more, throat feeling scratchy as she spoke. "Help! Help!"

There was shouting on the other side of the door at Hunter's exclamation, a small panic and sound of surprise, followed shortly by the jangling of keys on a keyring. In the five seconds it took for the door to open, Kyle saw Hunter looking back at him with a wave of gratitude that could never be fully expressed in words, and for the first time, her androgynous features reflected the briefest echoes of something delicate and decidedly feminine. He might have been imagining it in the midst of panic as it became relief, but for one microscopic fraction of a second, she looked almost kind of... pretty... No, he was definitely imagining it.

Dropping his arms from around Hunter just in time, the next thing that either of them knew, light was suddenly filling up the depository, breaking through the dim haze to show that they were covered in a healthy sprinkling of powdered clean-it-all. They looked like ghosts, if ghosts were made of chalk, and the newfound glare revealed that the secret female was paler than normal beneath her new coat. Kyle imagined that he wasn't quite up to code either, and now that he didn't have hold it back, he certainly was starting to feel like his cell mate looked. As sweet oxygen circulated back through their lungs, both prisoners fell into heavy coughing fits. In the background, Kyle was dimly aware of the noise of a picture being taken by a rather crappy camera phone. Cartman.

Pulling himself up and out of the closet with mild unease, Kyle turned around to see the fat-ass bearing witness, but for whatever reason, Cartman looked greatly disappointed as he put away the electric device. Standing just by the door was Craig, who was pocketing his metal insurance, and behind him with a rather unreadable expression was Kenny. For his friend's sake, the curly-haired ginger was suddenly very glad that he had thought to let her go. Whatever happened between them, it would only be complicated if Kenny thought that he was involved with Hunter in a way that wasn't strictly platonic. As if that would ever happen.

"Having fun in there?" Craig really was caught off guard to find that Kyle was actually in the closet with Hunter, however, you really couldn't tell by the way that he was conducting himself.

Glaring over at Craig, Kyle frowned. "Shut the fuck up Craig."

Craig flipped Kyle off and turned back to talk to Kenny. "I'm going to class." This little adventure had been fun while it lasted, but this was the point that things could get out of hand with those guys, so it was time to cut his losses and dip. "Later."

Kenny didn't give any indication that he had heard Craig, but his eyes followed him as the boy walked off to wait for third period to start. Once Craig was gone, the blonde turned his attention back to the remaining three boys, wondering what was going on - he had heard Hunter ask Kyle to speak to him in private, so he had the impression that it was fairly secretive, and probably urgent since it was was so early in the day, but Cartman obviously had an ax to grind, so it was possible that it was all an honest mistake. But even if it was and Cartman was just trying to start shit again, what were they talking about? And why did it seem to all center around himself?

The smartest kid in the class for a reason, Kyle patched the picture together, assuming that Cartman had wandered out to bust himself and Hunter, and the disappointed face would appear to be from him either failing or not finding them the way that he had wanted (hence the camera), and Kenny had somehow figured out that something was amiss, so he had sought out Craig for the keys. "Thanks for getting us out of ther-"

Growing louder and more violent than when they had first been brought out of the closet, Hunter was doubled over against the ambry newel, nearly hacking up a lung. Cartman just rolled his eyes at the pitiful grab for attention. "Fucking drama queen."

Both Kenny and Kyle threw Cartman a nasty look. Kenny - who had experienced death so many times that he had long since lost count of the exact toll - knew when these things were serious, and listening to Hunter, it sounded just three shades shy. "You should take him to the nurse's office."

"What about you?" Kyle wondered if Kenny was beginning to suspect something was up between Hunter and himself - after being discovered together in a closet, it would be rather strange if he wasn't connecting dots. The only thing that was going on was the new kid trying to make friends, but without knowing that, the situation really did look sketchy.

Growing bored by all the bullshit, Eric chimed in. "While you fags stand here and debate how you're going to bang each other," Cartman included the ailing third member in that statement, "I'm not going to be a part of it. So screw you guys, I'm going to class."

Not missed in the slightest, Cartman took off too, although his progress was rather slow, as if he were trying to keep them on his radar, so he knew that they weren't going to start talking about him behind his back like a bunch of spineless pussies. It was so like those assholes to do that.

Reaching out for Hunter's shoulder, Kyle spoke between the worst of her coughs. "We have to go to the nurse."

In truth, they were probably going to have to go to the hospital, which would probably put a damper on the preordained day. While that sucked on so many different levels for a lot of people (not to mention having to come up with an explanation for their exploits), Hunter found that this might have all been for the best somehow, since it meant prolonging any private time with Kenny. But on the downside, it probably also gave Kenny the wrong impression...

* * *

So, I forgot my message again... Yeah. Oh, and another double post, this is.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	18. The Coon's Identity

_Fuck my life side-ways with a 12-inch strap-on._

After the panic attack and bout with mortality, Hunter should have been over-the-moon that the school nurse found that both herself and Kyle would be fine so long as they took it easy for the next couple of days. It also should have been good news to report that the rest of the day had gone considerably well and that most of the attention was focused on straight-laced Kyle fucking around in the bowels of the underworld (so to speak). Sure, Cartman had tried to draw more attention to the fact that it was _both_ Kyle _and_ Hunter that had been discovered with their pants down - the truth was quickly lost in garbled rumors and extreme untruths - but for all any of them knew, Hunter was just a major whore, whereas Kyle was not. The point was, it should have been an afternoon of great celebration for the girl now that school was out and she was on her way home, and yet, standing outside of her house as she unlocked the front door, it was the exact opposite.

Ignoring the new kid for pretty much the rest of the school day, Kenny had seemed as if he had reconsidered the dinner invitation, which while one of those double-edged sword kind of moments, made rather a lot of sense. Hunter imagined that it couldn't have been easy seeing one of his best friends coming out of the closet with another guy, especially when the friend had iffy gender preferences. At least they were iffy to her.

At any rate, when the five of them disembarked from the school bus, Hunter watched Stan and Kyle walk off in one direction together, while Cartman immediately set off on the path for his own place. Turning on her heel with but a single glance back over her shoulder, she was downright astonished to see that Kenny had not turned in the opposite direction for his own home, but was following after her and Cartman. Did Cartman invite Kenny over at some point? Because after the apathetic way that he had treated her, she had assumed that their plans had been canceled.

Just before he had hit his own yard, Lil' Hitler had noticed that they weren't alone on the path. What a joy that had been. "Careful Keeny," even in high school, Cartman still put a strange emphasis on things, "Hunter might try to fuck you next."

Cheeks burning in a culmination of anger and embarrassment, Hunter snapped back. "I didn't do anything in the closet but talk!"

"Butt-talk?!" Laughing loudly as he stepped on to his property, Cartman took great joy in antagonizing his neighbor. "Yeah, I bet that's what you call it, you fucking little bitch!" Her short temper only made it that much more amusing for him. "So tell me, when you butt-talk, is that with your clothes off and his dick up your ass, or your dick up his ass?"

Incensed, Hunter made to sprint across the lawn so that she could scratch Eric's eyes out, but she was held back by a random coughing fit. The nurse said that that might last a while, but so long as nothing came out, it should be fine. Hunter had her doubts about that diagnosis, but thankfully for Cartman, she was too busy fighting for control to do anything to him. Once it had passed, he had already gone inside. Pussy. She'd like to hear him say that to her face... But whatever, she had more important things on her mind than to fret about some fat fucker - like what she was going to do alone with Kenny this whole time.

Fortunately for her, the boy too was thinking along these lines, only he actually had a clue as to what was going to happen. Following Hunter inside the house, he looked around briefly, noticing a small collection of photographs depicting a woman with long dark hair, one of which showed her holding a small newborn in a baby blue blanket, a small child with pink ribbons in her hair looking down at the baby. Did that mean that Hunter once had an older sister? Or...?

Hunter noticed that he was looking at the photographs on the shelf, speaking in a final sort of way that made it clear it was a subject not taken lightly in her house. "My mom. We don't talk about that."

So it was a long shot that he'd fess up about the girl in the picture. But maybe with time and enough charm, Hunter would come clean about what he was up to with Kyle. "Your house doesn't look like you just moved in."

"My dad brought us up here earlier in the week, and we actually spent the better part of it unpacking." Walking over to the closet, Hunter opened the door and reveled stacks of boxes still unopened. "He's planning on having his boss over for dinner soon, so he wants it nice now."

It was almost uncomfortable in such a tidy place, especially when he was used to the exact opposite. "Is the whole house this clean?"

There was no masking the snort, since her own room was a far cry from the rest of the house, and even in the hours since Kyle had left, it had become so much worse. "Let me put it this way - if this was Imladris, my room would be like the ruins of Khazad-dûm."

"Khazad-dûm?" A small smile passed over his face at the Lord of the Rings reference. "You played Lord of the Rings as a kid, didn't you?"

Only everyday. "A bit. Why, what were the big games over here?"

Well naturally there were different factions that played various things throughout the town, but Kenny only concerned himself with what he himself would play. "Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones-"

"That one with all the wieners?" It was huge when she was younger, but that was a game that she didn't join in very frequently. "I never got into that one. Too much betrayal, and it started to mirror my life too much. You guys ever play superhero? I heard that there was a group of kids in Colorado that really stepped up during Cthulhu's reign, Coon and Friends, wasn't it?"

It had occurred to them that they were on the news, but he didn't realize that it was in areas outside of Colorado. "You heard of Coon and Friends?"

Like every girl in her age group at that time, she had had a crush on Mysterion. "Yeah, haven't you? Some of them were really popular with my classmates, and that was way away from here."

"I was in Coon and Friends." There were enough guys on the team to confide that much, and besides, if he wanted in to find out what Hunter's deal was, some sacrifices might have to be made.

Hunter's jaw hit the floor at that. "You...?!" Something dawned on her then, that the person the world had thought was the Coon really wasn't. "So wait, does that mean that the Coon really wasn't Bruce Vilanch? No shit." Well, it made sense that Cartman was the Coon, since he was such a douchcebag, and out of everyone in town, he had the body for it. "You mean that Cartman was the Coon? Eww."

Kenny wondered to himself why Hunter hadn't asked him who he had been in the group. Did the other boy already know, or at least suspect? "Don't you want to know who I was?"

Nodding ardently, Hunter really did want to know, but at the same time, she respected privacy. "Of course I do, but it wouldn't be right for a hero to go blabbing on about his secret identity. Super heroing is serious business."

Whatever this guy was hiding, Kenny realized that at heart, Hunter wasn't such a bad person. Maybe a bit hot-headed when rubbed the wrong way, but he seemed good enough.

* * *

Ok, here's the second part of a double post, and a fairly long explanation/message. First off, the opening line is a combination of quotes from the movies _Balde: Trinity_ and _Kick-Ass 2. _I also drop in a reference to _Hansel and Gretel - Witch Hunters_. Personally, I've never seen Game of Thrones. Oh, and given all the media attention in his debut episode, it just seemed to me like Mysterion would be super popular. Although, I did consider making her crush be random and on Man-Squito. Or however you spell it.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	19. Expecting Payment Later?

Regardless of how good a person Hunter might have been, Kenny couldn't shake the idea that the other boy might have strong sexual feelings for him, although Cartman was harboring a grudge, so he easily could be trying to manipulate the situation to his own advantage. Weighing the evidence, Kenny had the impression that Hunter was hiding something that even Kyle might not have known, yet judging from how chummy they acted in school, it would appear as if the redhead was privy. On the very real chance that Kyle did know what Hunter's secret was, he wouldn't knowingly do something that would put his friends in a dangerous position. So on that count, he had to give it to Kyle.

But what if Hunter was lying to him? Being the son of a lawyer, one would assume that lying was in the blood, except that wasn't a fair stereotype, since Kyle was one of the more honest people Kenny knew. So maybe that wasn't a factor, but it was no secret that Hunter and his family had made a habit of moving around the country, and Hunter himself had made it fairly common knowledge that all that moving was his own fault. So one point Cartman.

With the numbers tied one-to-one, Kenny had to admit to himself that the worst-case scenario was rather ambiguous, since he could figure out no harm in the other boy liking him - in fact, it might even be a good thing. Looking around the house again, Kenny could see that Hunter was moderately well off, and if he really was that attracted to him, well, maybe he could become a client...

"You want to play some X-box while I start on dinner?" Deciding that their homework could wait until later, Hunter asked after maybe ten minutes of frivolous conversation.

It wasn't even four yet, so why did he need to start dinner this soon? Maybe it was only early so he could get rid of his dinner guest that much sooner? Considering the day's exploits and indicators, that made no sense in the slightest - in his own experience with attraction, Kenny typically wanted to be around the person he was crushing on. "Huh?"

"Dinner." Now that the conversation had dwindled in pace, Hunter was much more demure. "I won't be in there the whole time, but since I have so much to cook, I should start now." Hunter, hearing all of Cartman's snide remarks about how poor Kenny's family was, thought that she would make enough for him to take home. "Is that okol?" Okol, really?!

Seeing through Hunter's intentions as if they were made of glass - at least the motives behind all that food - Kenny realized that he was right, that if he handled this right, Hunter could become his in-town client. Plus, since he was only using Hunter for a free meal at this point, he wasn't about to turn down that offer for something as insubstantial as pride. It might have done a man some good in the world, but at the end of the day, if all you had was pride, chances were you'd only have a plate to eat. "That's generous of you."

Under the impression that she was doing a good thing, Hunter tried not to look too pleased with this reaction, just kind of nodding towards the tv. "Make yourself at home."

**[South Park]**

Two helpings of victuals and seven pre-meal versus matches later, Kenny and Hunter sat alone at the shared table corner, slouched back in their seats like a couple of chockablock slobs as they digested their food. The blonde was pleasantly surprised at how good of a cook the other boy was; Kenny had to admit that Kyle hadn't really done him justice. Seriously, if Denny's had a cook like Hunter on staff, he wouldn't mind his leftovers so much. He'd probably make more on tips too.

"You should do this professionally." Seriously, if Kenny had skills like these, he wouldn't be out pounding the streets.

True, cooking was one thing that she could do well, but Hunter felt like it was stereotypical for her as a woman to be a cook; for other female chefs, it was fine, but it just wasn't for her. Besides, her real passion was basketball. "Well maybe it wouldn't be so bad having someone else do the dishes for once, but my thing is sports. I know its so unlikely that I'll actually make it, but that doesn't mean that I should just not try." Groaning, she looked at the dishes that had built up since last night. "Urgh, I really hate dishes."

Was Hunter trying to guilt him into helping with the dishes? "Yeah, I'd help you, but I have to keep my hands intact for that modeling contract."

Missing the sarcasm, Hunter figured that it was true that he was a model - Kenny certainly had the looks for it. "Well you are that beautiful." Mother fucker, she just said that out loud, didn't she?!

"What did you just say?" Beautiful was a different word than sexy. Beautiful was something you said when you spoke about someone's soul. Beautiful was genuine...

Blushing at the slip-up, Hunter quickly jumped up to begin clearing the table so she didn't have to answer that right away. What was her damage?! Gathering a small stack in her arms, she fell prey to another stupid attack halfway to the kitchen sink, and in one instant, it wasn't the cheap china that fell with a resounding crack, but everything that she had worked so hard to achieve. Shattered at her feet in a thousand tiny pieces of cream and bluebell-hued flowers, the girl lowered herself to pick up the remains once she was able, but in her haste, there was yet another mishap. Crying out in pain with a string of profanity attached, Hunter's upset was curtailed drastically as Kenny pulled her up and towards the bathroom.

More than experienced with these kinds of injuries and assuming that like most normal people, the Bloodworth family kept their first aid kit in the loo, the blonde bustled about after directing her to sit on the toilet, getting the supplies from the middle drawer in the counter. Not being a psychic, he only found the pale pail by trial and error. Getting what he needed, Kenny proceeded to grab Hunter's hand in his own, so he could examine the injury to see what kind of remedy this called for. Turning the appendage over and thumbing away a smear of blood on her palm, Kenny could clearly make out a shallow yet jagged fissure in the flesh. Wetting a piece of toilet paper, he dabbed away the blood, having her hold it down while he got the antibacterial soap. Once it was on a separate swab, he cleaned the scratch and applied ointment, vaguely noting that Hunter took this like a champ. It wasn't until the bandage was in place over her hand that he spoke.

"I guess you weren't lying about being a little brute." Making idle chitchat, Kenny had more on his mind, like the way Hunter was trying his damnedest to avoid eye contact. Being treated like shit was nothing new, but being so blatantly ignored was rather hurtful.

Shying away from Kenny, Hunter felt as if there would never be a silver-lining. Ten minutes ago, she had thought that school today had taken the cake, but this, this took the whole damn flour factory. As a girl, she was ashamed of her hardened exterior, and as a boy, it was just embarrassing to have to be tended to. Scratch that last, even as a human being, it was aggravatingly foreign; she did the taking care of, not the other way around. "No, I didn't."

"Don't try to pretend - I know. I know what you are..." Only half on, Kenny held off on finishing the patch job, looking Hunter dead in the eyes as he gave his words time to sink in. "You shouldn't think about me like that."

For one fleeting moment - undeniably more frightening than anything she had experienced in that closet - Hunter thought that Kenny had figured out that she would be rocking a two-piece at the beach, but no. For all the catastrophes left in her wake, there was some luck at least. "I..."

Trailing almost uncomfortably, her words hung but an inch away from him. Kenny would give himself over to Hunter tonight (for a fee), but it would be nothing more than just sex. Kenny couldn't afford to give away more than that, and in many ways, that suited him better, because who could possibly care for him? What did he have to offer? Poverty and death, so much death. It was hard enough knowing that his friends didn't remember, but for someone he could trust enough to give his heart to? No, that was why he never got close to anyone, except for Craig, who was probably the closest thing to a real relationship he had, and that wasn't saying much.

Falling closer and closer to Hunter, mouth hovering just over his host's, Kenny whispered softly into her lips, "We'll both pay for this later..."

* * *

Okol, the combination of "ok" and "cool". Yeah, I'm so a PS girl, and despite pretty much all my friends being about the X-Box, I won't change my mind. But yay, a month in! So, what do you guys think?

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	20. Shy

Going in to this dinner date, the very last thing that Kenny expected was to move this fast - or at all - but before he really knew what was happening, their hormone-ridden unconscious beings had already made their way across the hall and were pressing into a door just opposite from the bathroom, lips locked in a kiss that mirrored the idea of infinity. Finding the other quite amusing and just having a good time when they were together, it only made sense that there had been a kind of attraction between the two of them that went beyond words; if there hadn't been, he probably wouldn't have been so quick to kiss Hunter like that. But at the same time, something didn't feel right about this...

Hands slipping lower against Hunter's waist, Kenny noticed a slight indent for the first time; it felt more like a girl's body shape than a boy's. Come to think of it, Kenny had never seen Hunter without at least one jacket on, and even when cooking, the second boy had just rolled his sleeves up. Strange, but back when he had taken home ec., it wasn't like he had removed his jacket either. Regardless of how uncanny the boy's actions were, now was not the time for thinking - now was the time for action.

Or so he thought as they sucked face, the blonde boy feeling a kind of ravenous hunger in Hunter, but there was also a kind of reserve, as if the other boy was holding back, trapped in his own fears and hang-ups. It would appear that his partner seemed to be having second thoughts about this whole thing, because he suddenly turned his head away. It was hard to tell in the dark, but Hunter seemed to be frowning.

Speaking as if in great anguish, Hunter sounded as if he were being torn in half. "Wait... Before we do this... There is something you should know..." Why was she doing this now, when he was right outside her room? They were young, so there was no thinking about tomorrow, but it wasn't the morning that had her stopping - it was her utter inexperience. "...I've never done this before."

Kenny assumed that Hunter meant having sex with a guy, and not just intercourse in general. "It's not that different. Just remember the girl sucking your cock and then put yourself in her position. "

Debating about whether or not to tell her potential partner upfront of her true gender, the girl reasoned that if they went into that room, he was going to find out anyways. "That's not what I mean..."

No! There was no way that Hunter was a... a virgin! Did they still even make those?! A perverted grin flashed across his face as Kenny realized the full extent of what that meant. "I'm sure that I could teach you a thing or two."

"I... I don't..." Looking at Kenny with a fresh wave of nerves, Hunter wasn't sure that she was ready for this, but she had come this far already, and if she didn't do this now, her chance might have been lost for good. Fate had smiled upon her this much, and it had brought them here to this point, so maybe it was destiny that they did do it tonight. Still though, if there was even a small window for her to chicken out on this, she was going to jump through it. "l just came to town, so I don't know how good it would look for me, if this got out..."

What did it matter when at least half the school thought that Hunter had already fucked Kyle? Which apparently wasn't true. Kenny couldn't explain why, but that made him kind of glad to know. "No one has to know." Just them and his wallet. "This can be our little secret."

And hopefully, it wouldn't be their only secret. If this happened, and it really looked like it was going to, Kenny was going to know that she really was a girl, but, since he would keep this tryst a secret, than maybe she could trust him to keep everything else under lock and key too. "Promise?"

Operating under the assumption that Hunter understood his words of them both paying for this, it was only natural that he would agree, but all the same, he didn't treat this simple promise cavalierly. Kyle seemed to trust him, but how could Kyle be so sure that he was reliable? Doing this transaction would not only take a leap of faith, but trust in his friend's judgment. "Promise."

Once all of that had been settled, there seemed only one thing left to do...

Twisting the door open, they both ambled awkwardly into the bedroom. When Kyle had been in her room, there was a couple of shirts poking out of the closet from where they had been left on the floor, but now there were pants falling from the dresser and sports magazines strew over the nightstand. A rather large framed poster had been put over the broken window, and the bed had yet to be made.

Comparing the grace and serenity of Rivendell to the destruction that was the once mighty Moria was justified. "Fuck, you weren't kidding."

Glancing nervously at Kenny, Hunter had no idea about how this was supposed to work, if they should undress first and then kind of get to it, or if they should start making-out again and let the clothes just come off in their own time. Thanking her stars that her first kiss had kind of just happened to her so she didn't have to really think about it, the girl was really going to have to rely on Kenny for all of this, at least until her instinct could kick in. It was easy enough to rely on others when it came to things like keeping secrets, but when it came down to taking care of her, it was impossibly hard for Hunter to step back and be babied.

Looking over at the bed as if it was a many-toothed alligator, Kenny could read in Hunter's body language that the other teen was very uncomfortable. Thinking that it might be more comfortable without all those clothes on, Kenny reached over for Hunter so he could at least remove the jackets. "Here."

Seeing where this was going - or thinking that she did - Hunter brushed Kenny away so she could do it herself. She wasn't completely incapable after all. "I got it." Felling bad at the reproachful look on his face, she amended. "I'm not used to having anything done for me, and I suppose that I also want to feel somewhat useful..." Why was it so easy to spill her guts to this boy at the most embarrassing junctures possible?

Shrugging her father's old army jacket off her shoulders, she discarded it carelessly at her feet. Next, she slipped off the baggy black hoodie that was one of her last lines of defense, leaving herself feeling naked in just a thin band shirt and some ace bandages. Watching Hunter from the corner of his eye, Kenny had to wonder if he had been that awkward his first time. To ease the mood and preoccupy himself while Hunter removed a couple layers, the blonde turned around and walked over to the desktop, where he flicked on her music. Too busy watching him for fear that one of her more embarrassing musical choices came on, she had stopped from getting undressed completely.

_[music]_

_Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen._  
_ So unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you._  
_ Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste._  
_ Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway._

The very first song to come on was 'Afterlife', by Avenged Sevenfold. Cranking up the volume louder than it needed to be for no good reason other than being young, Kenny looked back over at where Hunter was standing in a stupor. The music seemed to lightened him up to a degree, but the one still fit for sacrifice looked rather stiff and edgy. In retrospect, that did remind Kenny of his first time fucking for cash.

Putting on an air of playfulness and seduction, the puerile whore took the overwrought maiden by the wrist, leading her to her own chaise. Sitting her down at the foot of the bed, he sat at her side, and without pause, started to kiss her again. Falling deeper and deeper into the embrace, the song changing to the Incubus tune 'Here In My Room' after the last song ended, Hunter barely noticed that they had fallen against the mattress. Only opening her eyes again to their full extent as she felt his hands gliding for her buckle, Hunter squirmed away from his hands.

If he kept doing that, it was going to be a very long night. "Problem?"

"No..." If only that were true. "I'm sorry." Wrapping her arms around his neck more for her own benefit, Hunter cringed in anticipation as his hands slid up her side, under the fabric of her shirt. Any second now, he would feel the bandages wrapping up her chesticles, would question it, would realize her lies...

Any second now...

* * *

I forgot to say it in the last chapter, but seriously, what the hell is it with me and bathrooms? This is not the first fic I wrote with a bathroom scene, and somehow, I doubt that it will be my last. Anyways, this story operates on teenage stupidity and growing up, if that wasn't obvious beforehand.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	21. Death, Dinner, and Invites

"Hunter, we're home!" Calling from the front door as they returned from their trip, Mr. Bloodworth unlocked the door from the outside and stepped inside, following after Avery as he relocked the door. If there was anything that he had learned from his late spouse, it was safety. "Hunny Bunny?"

Despite the music being loud enough to drown out the noises outside the house, it was no match against the natural drill-sergent stylings of Hunter's father. Bolting upright so fast that she ended up butting heads with Kenny, Hunter cursed the boy for turning up the music so loud that they didn't hear the car pull up in the driveway. "My dad's back." Gazing at the orange-clad blonde in something very much like terror, Hunter felt like it was such a big deal that she reiterated. "My dad's back, and I'm not supposed to have company." Jostling around, she threw Kenny aside with surprising strength. "Move the poster and take the window, but be careful of the glass. Meet me around the back in a few minutes, and I'll get you your food, alright?"

Not giving him time to answer or ask questions, she cleared the space between the bed and the door in the blink of an eye, shooting out of her bedroom door, simultaneously pulling her hair out of her bun so she could make it look like she was in the middle of fixing her hair. "Sorry daddy, I was just in the bathroom." Avery, still sore with what Cartman had told him, had seen that she had just come from her room, and was about to say so, but she shot him a warning glance. "Did you two have a good time?"

Nodding as he dropped his briefcase by the coat rack, Mr. Bloodworth loosened his tie. "Yeah, Ri-ri was really glad to see us." It was only a waste of everyone's time pretending that Rita and Hunter didn't despise each other. "So, what did you do all day?"

What? More like who. True, Avery had waited a long time for his sister to find a boyfriend so she would back off his business, but any joy he might have felt for her was soured a great deal in the midst of their neighbor's lies. The runt of the litter was merely biding his time for the appropriate moment to voice his suspicions.

"Me?" Dropping her hands from her head, Hunter gestured at herself. "Nothing much. I just made some dinner for a friend to take home. In fact, he should be here soon, so I should probably finish packing it." So her father didn't offer to help or question her story, she quickly added, "You both look so tired! Why don't you go have a nice shower, and Avery, you could just stay here and rest up. Or you can both watch tv, whatever."

Buying her bullshit, Mr. Bloodworth nodded. "Yeah, that sounds nice. I think I'll do that."

As he departed for the restroom, it occurred to Hunter that the kitchen was not the only room that had tattle-tale signs of her day, since her father would easily see the bandages left out on the counter. "I accidentally broke a dish, and I was also tending the wound when you got back, so I didn't clean it yet, sorry."

He just called over his shoulder, too tired from his day to care much. "I can take care of it."

Once he was out of earshot and sight, Avery turned on Hunter, also noticing the spare book bag by the door. "You dirty little liar. You had someone over, didn't you? They're still here, aren't they? Is it Kyle?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, reaching the same conclusion damn near everyone else had. "You're fucking him!"

Sensing the hostilities in his accusations, Hunter looked at her little brother in confusion and annoyance. "What died up your ass?"

"Car-"

There was a loud thudding noise coming from around the back, as if someone had just fallen from the sky. Silencing her brother with a rather loud shushing sound, Hunter hurried to the kitchen to open the back door. Unshockingly, it was Kenny. Peeking around the teen to see Avery standing there too, Kenny had the sense to play it cool. "Is the food ready yet? I need it soon, so can you just put it in my bag that I gave you earlier?"

His bag? Oh shit, his bag! In everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten that he had brought his stuff over with him from school. "Yeah, it's ready, just give me a minute. Why don't you sit down while you wait?" She nodded over at the table. "Avery, go get Kenny his bag by the door."

Shooting Hunter a rather nasty glare at being ordered around in front of company, Avery left them alone in the kitchen. Only, he didn't go get the bag as instructed - he doubled around the wall and listened in to their conversation, hoping to catch enough of the story firsthand to confront his older sister later. That lying cunt.

Making the mistake of thinking that they were alone, Kenny broke the silence as Hunter busied herself packing up. "If you want, I can come back later so we can-"

"No! I mean, no, I don't want to risk anything with my dad in the house." Knowing her for his entire life, Avery could tell that she was bluffing. If his sibling really wanted something, she would find a way to make it happen, no matter what their father said. He knew for a fact that she had slipped their father sleeping pills on at least three different occasions.

That Kenny guy seemed really persistent. "Well when can you get away?"

Not staying to listen to her feeble excuses, Avery ran to the front door and picked up that Kenny guy's bag. Slowing down just outside the door, he waited for his cue. "Got it." Walking in to the kitchen again, Avery tossed the teen his backpack. "So, are you one of the guys that'll be going to the game?" Since she was making every effort to ditch this guy, what better revenge was there than to give him an opportunity to badger his sister?

Catching the bag in midair with the reflexes of a seasoned player, Kenny looked over at Avery as if seeing him for the first time. Truth be, it actucally was the first time he paid him any heed whatsoever. "Game?" He tore his eyes over to the elder Bloodworth boy. "What game?"

So she hadn't asked him yet... Or maybe he wasn't one of the guys that they had been talking about... Either way, the look on hunter's face made it worth spilling the beans. "Hunter asked Kyle to some basketball game, and they were planning on when to ask his friends." He had overheard Hunter and Kyle planning on how to invite their friends. "I thought that you were one of Hunter's friends, but I guess that 'Hunny Bunny' is too good to want to screw with friends' friends."

"Hunny Bunny?" There was no not snorting at that. But on to more serious matters, young Mr. McCormick felt like a bit of an idiot to hear that it was only a basketball game that Kyle and Hunter were planning. So help him, if he had read the signs all wrong and had jumped the gun, he was going to feel like the moron of the year. "Is that what you were talking about in the closet?"

"Closet?" Avery was at a loss for that one. "What?

They ignored him. Too bad for him, his sister had plans on murdering him after Kenny had left. "Sorta... No." After almost having sex with Kenny, she figured that something of an explanation was required. "It was about you..."

"Me?" So maybe he wasn't quite nominated just yet.

"I kinda was worried about tonight," She tried to dance around it from as many angles as she could, "About dinner."

So Hunter did like him. That was... Well, he could almost certainly count on that being a good business venture. "The meal was good, but maybe next time, we could have some dinner. After the game I mean, if I'm invited."

"If you want to come." She thought better of her words and rephrased. "I mean yeah, it's going to be me, Kyle, and if you guys want, you and Stan. I ordered the tickets online last night, though I guess that was jumping the gun a bit... Anyways, it should be fun."

He already got the tickets? Man, if he could fork out that kind of cash, then maybe Kenny could charge him a bit more than the usual going rate. Hell, if he could get him to cover it, he might even be able to drop a client or two... Nah, that was too much to ask.

* * *

As if no one saw that fake-out coming...

*update* Apparently I should be nominated though, posting a chapter with this many fuck-ups. Well, hopefully I got them all, or at least most of them.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	22. So, How's That Roar?

On what should have been the third day of school, Hunter had been so overwhelmed by the things going on in her personal life, she took a sick day. That was greeted by mostly negative backlash and a rather nasty insistence - led by none other than Eric Cartman himself - that the new kid on the block was hiding out because his shameful fling with Kyle became public. Obviously Kyle himself was none too pleased with all the rumors flying about, but he understood why she had taken a day for her mental health. In fact, as the day progressed, that understanding only deepened, especially during fourth period, when they had been given an unexpected free period to study amongst themselves.

Doing his utmost to block out all of the naysayers, the young ginger had turned a blind eye to the first couple of notes that bounced off the back of his head, but by the time that a small collection of crumpled papers littered the area around him like overlarge snowballs, Kyle had finally had it and turned around to confront whoever was tossing the empty globules. "Kenny?"

Ok, that admittedly changed things, since he was rather curious to hear how last night had turned out. Jehovah knows that he wasn't getting any answers from the self-imposed blackout the girl was broadcasting; sending out one mass text to the three people that had her number, all the girl said was that she would like people to respect her privacy until further notice. Such a gyp. At least Kyle knew that he could always rely on Kenny for details. Granted, the blonde often got way more graphic than need be, but Kyle coveted clarity.

Picking up his notebook as he moved to sit nearer to his friend, Kyle figured that he could just borrow some biology notes from either Token or Red. Preferably Token, but that wasn't the issue here. Taking a seat, he whispered so only his friend could hear him. "What is it?"

Kenny had meant to talk to Kyle sooner than this, since he was basically Hunter's best friend at this point, but he had slept in that morning and didn't have the chance until now. It wasn't like he had expected to stay up half the night trying to puzzle out everything that had happened betwixt himself and the absent adolescent. "What the fuck does Hunter want?"

Unable to discern what had transpired between the pair of them, Kyle had no idea how to answer Kenny, but from the aura of perplexity radiating from the other boy, Kyle gleaned that there hadn't been a lot of talking, at least not about anything of importance. "Hunter just wants to make friends."

Was that really all he wanted though? Kenny wasn't so sure. "He seems pretty fuckin' keen, if all he wants is friends."

Unless it was habit addressing Hunter as a boy, Kenny had no idea that she was a girl, which meant that they didn't get down to business. In a way, Kyle was kind of glad for that fact, because Kenny really didn't need yet another end to tie later. "He's had a pretty raw deal, from what I can make out. His mom died when he was still really young, so he had to take care of the family in her place, but it also sounds like he lashed out quite a bit. Now he's just trying to find a balance." Honestly, thinking about it, the last thing she probably needed was getting tangled up with someone like Kenny. "Hunter needs someone who can be there, not just a lay."

It sounded like Kyle cared a fair amount. "So, how's Stan?"

"Terrible. Wendy really did a number on him this time." Going over to Stan's yesterday after school, Kyle had learned that Wendy had left town, and that she had tried to break up with her boyfriend before going, which had ultimately lead to a rather nasty parting of ways that Stan believed really could have meant the end. But somehow, Kyle had the impression that that wasn't what Kenny was asking.

**[South Park]**

Wendy Testaburger, student body president, passionate activist, head cheerleader... What happened to that girl? That cleaver child had been part of the student government in one form or another since elementary school, had been on honor roll since she could remember, and had been in charge of bringing pep to a school that quite frankly rarely demonstrated any form of talent. Once upon a time, she had done such good for her school, and then she got older, and one by one, everything kind of fell away...

School spirit? While she had remained on the team - replaced as captain by her best friend - that had been drained away by her boyfriend. Concern for various causes? Who cared, since her boyfriend had pointed out that nothing really changed, and even if it did, it won't be in their time. It seemed like Stan had just sucked everything out of her, one way or another...

Toxic, that fatalistic view was more than half the reason she would dump him, but while he never exactly said the words out loud in a direct manner, Wendy had the distinct impression that if she were to ever be serious about it, Stan would try something stupid and borderline suicidal. But that didn't mean that there wasn't that sporadic flare of concern in his eyes. Loving him had become more like a chore, like an abysmal amusement park ride that she couldn't escape.

And then there was him...

He had always been there, pushing and pestering, booing and mocking. He was a constant thorn in her side, the fly in her soup, the eyelash in her eye, and yet, somehow, the pain he caused her was almost pleasant, almost something addictive... Fighting with him was something that gave her purpose once more, filling her up with some of that old fire she used to possess, before it had burned way, leaving nothing but the ashy echoes of a smoldering ember. He was a gluttonous ass-wipe and one of the biggest douchebags you'll ever meet, and somehow, he made her feel alive.

Cheating on Stan was never part of her plan, but it was the only way she could keep existing...

Staring at her cellphone as it laid on the couch next to her, Wendy fought the urge to reach out for it. She knew that he had the right to know, but she wasn't sure about what she was going to do herself, so telling him would only complicate matters. Besides, she already knew exactly how he was going to react to the news, and she really didn't need all that extra pressure. While Stan would probably do what was considered 'the right thing to do', Cartman would only urge her into getting an abortion. That was why she hadn't told either of them, although she had at least tried to tell Stan.

But what if it wasn't him that had contributed to the problem? The night it probably happened was so horrible, and so insanely crazy, it only stood to statistical reason that someone would get pregnant. But why did it have to be her?! Bebe was the slut between the two of them, so it should have been her in this position! And anyways, on that night in question, she had been planning on ending it with Cartman once and for all, but Stan was too busy playing video games with Kyle to even pay her any attention, so she had struck out in pure spite...

Hmph, Kyle... Speaking of that distressing evening, it was actually the same night that Wendy had figured out that he had feelings for Stan. In true party boy/wounded souls fashion, Craig and Kenny had both gotten so fucked up, they figured that they should 'share the happy with everyone', so they slipped this or that in certain people's drinks, and that met with disastrous results. Thankfully for his own sake, Stan was dosed up that he was quickly knocked out, so he didn't know, but Wendy had walked in to see Kyle trying to dry hump his best friend. He had tried to convince Wendy that it was nothing but the drugs, except she had overheard him spilling his guts to Stan's unconscious body.

The only reason that nothing came out of that incident was because not thirty minutes later, Kyle had caught Wendy coming out of the bathroom. Thank God for her, Cartman had already cleared out, but it was undeniable that she had been having sex with someone. Someone that wasn't her bulletin board for dicks, fun, swastikas, and a half-finished train. Mutually blackmailing each other, their relationship had only declined from that point on, and Stan remained blissfully ignorant to the entire thing. Stan, always left in the dark... In some ways, the part that didn't secretly despise him was rather envious...

As she continued to stare at it in indecision, Wendy's phone began to shake and vibrate as someone called her.

_I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire_  
_ 'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar_

Picking it up slowly - almost as if she were afraid of the device itself - the teen was relieved to hear Bebe's voice on the other end. "Oh my God, Wendy, why do you have to help that sick relative now?! I had to go shopping with Nicole and Annie today after school, and because of that nasty business with Clyde kissing Craig's sister behind Annie's back, things were almost unbearable! And to top it all off, Annie picked out a completely heinous orange top that looked more like barf than fake cashmere. Being heartbroken should be no excuse for lousy fashion sense. I mean, I know I should be sensitive since she was just cheated on, but come on, it's been a week already! Seriously, just get over it! We all knew that it was never going to work between them anyways."

Sometimes it was nice having such vapid and gossipy friends, since they could put you in the middle of someone else's problems for a while...

"And I know you haven't seen him yet, but do you remember that dreamy new kid I was telling you about?" After an hour and a half of detailing what she had bought on the shopping trip with Red, Heidi, and Lola, Bebe went on to talk about what had happened at school the last few days. "I heard a rumor from Jimmy, who heard it from Timmy, who saw it acted out by Butters and Cartman, that he's totally gay. Apparently, on his very first day in school, he marked out all the guys he wanted to fuck during gym, but since he wasn't sure where to start, he somehow convinced Kyle that they should sneak out of Garrison's class together to hook up in the janitor's closet yesterday. I have it on good authority that they were in there for hours..." Wendy could just see Bebe imagining that it had been her instead. "I guess now I know why he wasn't into me at first." She sounded no less determined to bang him herself. "But I think I could still convince him to go bi."

Only half listening by this point, Wendy's brain jogged back into full gear. Did she just say that the new guy had fucked Kyle?! If that was true, and Stan didn't mind that his best friend was gay, there was a very real chance that she could lose him... Stan might not have been good for her, but that didn't change the fact that he was hers...

* * *

Anyone think I totally forgot about Wendy/Stan's woes? 'Cause I didn't - I was just waiting for the opportune moment. And seriously, who doesn't want friends like Bebe and Wendy? On that note, I think that when she gets older, there is a chance that Wendy could burn herself low, and a very real chance that Stan would have a negative effect on her personality. But, that's just what I feel is possible. Maybe it's just me, but I can totally see 'Roar' being Wendy's ringtone.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	23. Pre-Game Bind

"Road trip!" Amped, Kenny kicked the back of the driver's seat in Stan's dad's new used SUV. Even if it was only Denver, it was always nice to get out of town, especially when he was with friends.

Jarred by his friend's enthusiasm - both figuratively and literally - Stan swiveled in his seat and leered around at Kenny, "Dude, this is my dad's car!"

Not seeing how it was his problem, the blonde merely shrugged. Sitting up in the front with his best friend, legs thrown across the dashboard and crossed at the ankle, Kyle also scrutinized their resident troublemaker, glad that they were parked outside Hunter's house, merely awaiting their generous benefactor, since that could have caused a serious accident if they had been out on the road. Reaching over Stan as their modern era Agon wrapped up matters of the home, the red-head honked the horn and shouted out of the open window, "Get the lead out!"

"Ok, I gotta go!" Standing on the porch with Mr. Bloodworth as he gave her an extra twenty for 'emergencies', Hunter was forced into a rib-cracking bear-hug before being allowed to depart. Even with Avery over at Ike's so he wasn't there to rub it in, she had the feeling that the three boys waiting in the car had it covered. "Dad!"

Squinting over at her friends, Mr. Bloodworth was discouraged to see that his daughter was going out of town with three boys, but he had faith that she wouldn't do anything with them that she could end up regretting later, since she never had before. Plus, she was a fighter, so there was little need to worry about them trying to gang up on her. "I know, I know, you need to look good in front of the guys. I just worry about my baby..." His bristly mustache twitched at the very thought of something happening to his children. "I'll miss you Hunny Bunny!"

Trying to slip out of her father's grasp so she could get on the road, the girl nodded over at the convoy. "Daddy, I have to go, or we're going to be late!" A lie, since they would have plenty of time to kill before the game even started. But her father didn't need to know that.

On the verge of managing a clean escape, Hunny's dear old dad pulled her back before she could dart off and planted a rather loud peck - practically loud enough to hear across the yard and in the beastly gas-guzzler - on the side of her head. "I love you."

Pink-cheeked from her father's embarrassing display, Hunter ran off to join her friends the first chance she got, shouting a last farewell over her shoulder. "Bye." Running around the front and sliding into the backseat opposite Kenny, the girl made quite the fuss of wiping off the side of her head. "Drive, now."

Mocking her as Stan obeyed and gradually merged with the traffic, Kyle smirked back in her direction as best he could. "Aww, that's so sweet that daddy cares about his little prince! Didn't you tell him that orgies aren't really our thing?"

Disagreeing, Stan shook his head slightly. "Nah man, he probably just didn't have the time to get it in while his dad tried to slip him the tongue."

"Speak for yourself!" Scoffing indignantly at the same time that Stan chimed in, it was unclear if Kenny was being serious about that claim or not.

"Kenny's a whore, so he doesn't count." Stan was still hurting, but he was at least making an effort to be less of a wet blanket.

Kyle, knowing full well that that careless joke was a true statement, wasn't strictly sure that Hunter knew the truth about her crush yet, but it wasn't like he could just tell her that kind of thing without breaking confidence. Still though, knowing the full situation between them, it felt wrong for him to let her go into things blindly. "Kenny excluded."

Yeah, because that was so comforting to hear. While they really hadn't spoken about anything pertaining to the incident in her bedroom/bathroom or the conversation in the kitchen since the day that it happened, she assumed that they were still a go for his suggestion about what to do after the game. Just in case it did go down, she was sure to do everything in her power to prepare.

Speaking of Kenny and their plans, the blonde shot Hunter a rather mischievous grin. Taking his hand to her bare head, he pretended to buff away the remains of fatherly affection. "You missed a spot."

"Shaddup!" Growling as he messed up her strategically disheveled mop, it was hard to miss the monstrous and contagious grin spreading across her lips as she pretended to throw up her fists for fisticuffs. "Don't make me beat your ass black and blue, blondie."

Play punching each other, Kenny shot back, "Yeah, I'd like to see that."

Distracted by how rambunctious they were getting in the back seat, Stan snapped over his shoulder. "If you two don't calm down, I'm turning this car around!" Man, he had listened to his father one too many times... "Kyle, make sure these two don't cause an accident."

Easier said than done, so instead the brains of the outfit opted for a compromise, "How about we switch seats after you get gas, so we can separate the goddamn Wonder Twins back there."

Sticking her tongue out at the two in front, Hunter acted every inch her age and started to pull faces, each getting wilder and meaner than the last. Joining in, it wasn't long before Kenny and Hunter had elbowed each other; Kenny - pretending as if they were hooks - yanked his lips down with his index fingers and began swinging his arms around, whacking her right in the side of the tit, while Hunter punched in his cheeks, flapping her arms up so fast and with absolutely no spatial regard, she nabbed the boy square in the jaw. Whereas he had no idea that he had got her right in the chest, he did notice that there was something harder than just a shirt on the other boy. Unless he was mistaken, it seemed to be some kind of brace or under-wire...

More than used to taking a hit, she didn't so much as flinch. As for him feeling the preparations she had taken for later, it didn't cross her mind that he would realize she had packed on a rather unnatural shape. "Shit, Kenny, are you alright?!" As she asked that, he popped out something that looked a lot like a tooth.

Seeing that he looked genuinely concerned, Kenny merely shook his head at the blue-tinted raven and held it out so that she could have a closer look. "Fake."

That actually made her glad to know that she didn't knock out yet another person's tooth again. "Some party trick."

Kyle groaned as Kenny popped the fake tooth back in his mouth, less disgusted and more reminded of some scheme Cartman had used to sue a chain of retailers. "Too bad it didn't pay off."

Even she could hear the sarcasm in that one. "What do you mean?"

Figuring that it was better to entertain her with a story than allow her to incite another accident, Kyle told her the story, aided every now and again by the other two. Once he had finished - getting into other tales of Cartman's boundless greed and stupidity along the way - they were just about to pull into a gas station. It was more that they needed something to tide them over for the trip than to actually fill up yet (although Stan did also have to get some gas if they wanted to get back without getting stuck on the highway home).

Pulling up to the pump, Stan got out to fill up, which left the three of them to decide who was going to go get the snacks. Kenny immediately volunteered, but for no other reason than being undecided on what to get, Hunter opted to go with him. As she followed him out of the vehicle, Kyle called out for a quick word.

"Hunter?" He cracked the door open so he could talk to her. Standing there, she looked up at him quizzically. "So, tonight's the big night." Kyle figured that now was as good a time as any, if not the only time. "Are you sure you really want to go through with this?"

With nowhere else to turn but to Kyle, Hunter had entrusted him with her mounting misgivings, and in hindsight, it really hadn't been that helpful. It was probably really unfair to put all this on him and expect him to have all the answers to abate her jitters, but the girl had to do something with all of the anxieties clouding her system. "No, I'm not. Life was so much easier assuming that I didn't stand a chance, because then I didn't have to worry about anything."

She had her secrets and Kenny had his, and once they hooked up, everything would come to light, but before then, he had to worry for them both. "You know you don't have to rush into anything, right? Kenny'll understand." It might not have seemed like it, but he was a pretty good guy when it came to stuff like that. "Don't push yourself."

Letting out a rather hollow laugh at that, Hunter flicked her wrist in a downwards motion. "Say that to what's under all this."

Yeah, the phrase t.m.i. came to mind. "I did not need to know that." Or remember it, or think about it at all.

Cringing visibly at the memory of him walking in on her, she shook her head. "Eww, no. I mean the lingerie. I thought that just the ace was a bitch, but after today, I'm never to complain about it again..."

* * *

So many giggles... On a very unrelated note to this story, I just had a Trey and Matt night, where I watched Orgazmo and Team America for the first time ever, and I ended with Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. So much funny! Anywho, in relation to this story, yes, Hunter did fill in Kyle on the details of what had happened between herself and Kenny on the night he went to her house, but not right away. I imagine the reason was part her processing, and half him being too busy to take her call/texts.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	24. Pre-Game Snack

Standing amidst the mandatory rack of sunglasses found inside every last convenience store in America, located just next to an aisle populated with beef jerky and various snacks and candies, Hunter put on a pair with silvery rims and over-sized lenses. Leaning back razor-close to the shelf lined with various packs and flavors of gum, Kenny couldn't help but laugh out as the other teen struck a rather diva-ish pose.

"How do these look, darling?" He had no idea what his friend was aiming for with one hand on his hip and the other out in space, but the fake accent sounded more like a bad Transylvanian vampire.

"Like we should hide the stakes and the microphone." Chuckling, he took the glasses off the other's kisser unceremoniously, and instead of putting them back on the rack for the next jokester to try on, put them on his own mug. "These are more me."

Crossing her arms over her chest as she scrutinized the look, Hunter cocked her head to the side as she played along. "You got me there - those will be the only pair of shades that ever look good on you. But then what can I wear to the Playa's Ball?"

Half tempted to make some crack about what all the whores wear, Kenny simply grabbed a pair of sleek shield sunglasses from near the top row, and with only a small moment of consideration, put them on Hunter. While they were only joking about his pair, the other boy really did look good in the dark single frame. To demonstrate this, the boy with the blue eyes pointed to a small mirror in the corner of the store. Though slightly disproportionate, what Hunter saw wasn't too bad.

"So?" Returning to his normal speaking voice, Hunter waited with bated breath as Kenny nodded solemnly. Grinning like a human Cheshire at winning his approval, she slipped the goggles over her head. "Then they are sold! Thanks, I was actually looking to buy a new pair, since mine got broken in the move. I'll-" She had been about to say something along the lines of treasuring them until her next move, but just seemed... Well, it felt like now wasn't the time to say things like that.

Perhaps it was merely the look on her face that gave it away, but Kenny seemed to know what she had been about to say. "I didn't take you for the sentimental type." There was a kind of hardness in his voice that he didn't fully understand. "But I'm not surprised to see that you're planning on bailing already." In the end, Hunter really was just another client after all...

Bailing... Yeah, from his perspective it made sense to say that, but from where she was sitting, defecting wasn't an option, because her father and brother would always need her around in some capacity. "I wish I could leave sometimes... but they need me - they're the only ones though." Exhaling dejectedly, she went on to say, "It might not seem like it, but there was a time when I would try - really try - to make friends, but somehow I always found a way to fuck it up... Say the wrong thing to the wrong person too many times, fall for my friends' brothers, fall for my friends..." Hunter looked back outside the Plexiglas, right at their companions. "Look at me, I'm such a mess that I have to buy my friends." Twisting away from the outside, she regarded Kenny wistfully. "I got kind of used to it, but I really don't want to screw up this time... But I know that it's inevitable that I will somehow."

Wanting to leave it all behind was something that Kenny understood quite well, and as for distancing himself to keep from hurting worse, well, it was something that he could easily relate to. Having to support his family almost single-handedly, living every day in a state of fear and pain, Kenny had to admit that he and Hunter were a lot alike. And maybe Kyle was right, that he needed more than just a fuck... Or maybe he was wrong, and that was _exactly_ what he needed...

Walking with Hunter down the snack aisle, Kenny peered sideways at the other teen, continuing the conversation. "In a perfect world, things would be fair."

"In a perfect world," Once more adverting her gaze for fear of what looking at him would do to her, she picked out items at random for Stan and Kyle, grabbing a blue cotton candy Baby Bottle Pop for herself, along with a couple banana Laffey Taffey, "This wouldn't be so hard, and I could just be honest."

He had the feeling she didn't mean with her sweet selection. In fact, he knew exactly what she meant. "The world doesn't have to be perfect for you to be honest."

"Yes it does, if I want to avoid suffering." For a moment she looked in danger of dropping the goodies in her arms. "In a perfect world, rejection wouldn't exist."

Taking a second to envision that world that Hunter described, Kenny decided that he liked the sound of never being rejected, for anything. "Everyone fuckin' holding hands in the never-ending circle jerk-"

"You could just say what was on your mind-"

"Have as many numbers as you wanted-"

"Never have a shortage of friends-"

Going through the list of what that perfect world without rejection could entail, they both reached the final item together. "I could belong."

It was strange hearing that a boy that had had the same group of friends for his entire life say that he wanted to belong. Sure, Kyle and Stan had each other, and Cartman was just an asshole, but there had to be someone that Kenny could have said was there for him when he really needed it. If not Kyle at the very least, that guy Craig seemed to be a really good friend...

As if reading her mind, Kenny found himself sharing more than he might have intended, assuming that he had had some kind of foresight. "Kyle and Stan are two of the raddest guys I know, but they have each other, and Craig has his own problems." It was a fact that most of what bonded them was loneliness. Loneliness, and drugs. Lots and lots of mind-altering, body numbing drugs. "What, you think you're the only one in the town that's suffering?"

Of course she didn't think that. "No, I just find it kind of scary that we're so much alike."

"Hunter..."

Gazing intently into a frozen sea of stormy waters, Kenny's words died almost as soon as they left his mouth, because at that very moment, they were being hailed by Kyle for taking too long. Striding into the store and up their aisle, the red head really didn't give Hunter the time to fathom a guess at what Kenny had been about to say to her. "You two have time for foreplay later! Stan's got the gas already."

With Kyle's help, they got what they had came in for: four one-liter sodas, four bottles of water, ten mini bags of Cheesy Poofs, a box of Snacky S'mores, and an armful of random candy. Paying for the provisions and glasses herself, Hunter and the two boys made their way back into the parking lot, where Stan was already waiting in the passenger's seat.

Handing him the stuff through the open window, Kyle couldn't help but to call attention to the fact that his best friend was now in the passenger seat. "Um, Stan, weren't one of the Wonder Twins supposed to sit up front with you?"

All shades of melancholy, the pessimist replied glumly, "Wendy called. I didn't answer the phone. I should have answered the phone..."

Great, just fucking peachy. Well, hopefully the food would keep them occupied for the rest of the trip... "Just try to behave yourselves, alright?"

"Huh?" Now that they weren't on the clock, Hunter was musing over what Kenny had wanted to say to her in the store, so she was only able to put in a half-assed attempt at sass. "Oh, right dad."

Rolling his eyes, Kyle took Stan's place at the wheel so the other boy was free to mope. Better to let him dwell than have him driving and suddenly get the urge to do them all in. Getting back in the SUV, Kenny and Hunter took their supplies from Stan and placed them in the middle seat so that they were both closer to the doors than each other. But even still, that didn't stop them from shooting glances back and forth.

"Someone hand me a water back there." At a particularly slow patch of traffic, Kyle reached out for what he had requested.

Simultaneously grabbing for the same bottle, their hands brushed, and some of the things they've been feeling since that night started to well back up, just hovering below the surface, drifting alongside the wave of newer feelings that were just starting to develop. Blushing profusely, Hunter hastily withdrew her hand, allowing for Kenny to hand Kyle the bottle. Catching her eye, Kenny flashed a small smile.

For whatever it was worth, Kenny was really starting to like this new guy, and he could already tell that when the time came for his friend to leave, it would be a rather sad day. But for the time that they did have, they should probably make the most of it...

* * *

Yep, Hunter has grey eyes. Again, part of this chapter went through a couple different forms, but I'm pretty happy with this ending. More excited for the next chapter, but whatever.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	25. Pre-Game Action

Arriving at the stadium with a good hour and a half to go until the game, the four teens found parking in the middlemost row. There were still plenty of people showing up, going inside to wait in their seats, but the vast majority were loitering in the lobby, conversing with other fans and sparring with their rival team, at least those passionate enough about the game were. In general, there was just a buzz of excitement in the very air, stirring the blood in the body, and it was so vast, it was palpable even in the parking lot.

"I think that I'm going to go take Stan inside." Unbuckling himself, Kyle turned to look over at Kenny and Hunter, whose mounting sexual tension was smothering at this point, if not downright suffocating. "You two probably want to talk about what you're going to do after the game, so we'll just wait for you inside."

Right, because they still had to figure out where they were going to... "Kay, we'll only be a minute." Reaching into the pockets of her baggy cargo pants - perfect for hiding the seams of garters - Hunter grabbed two of their four tickets and handed them up to the front. She was too busy drowning in a sweltering, bottomless swamp of hormones to see that Kyle sincerely doubted that they would be only a minute. "We really shouldn't be long."

Getting out of the vehicle and savoring the fresh air for a moment, the redhead went around the front of the car and dragged away the shuffling wounded, partially envying the fact that he was in too much of a stupor to register what was about to happen in the back seat. As they departed into the stadium, Kenny could have sworn that he saw Kyle shoot them a rather suggestive grin. Apparently he did approve of them hooking up after all. Or it could have just been his imagination. "So..."

"So..." Feeling a bit hot around the collar suddenly, Hunter removed her open, thickly stripped zipper hoodie, not even thinking about what that might have looked like. "We should probably get to it." Even without the jacket on, it was still stuffy in the backseat. "Where should we-"

Unlike his companion who had thought that someone had turned off the chilly Colorado temperature, Kenny knew that the rising heat was almost purely internal, burning from within. And unlike his playmate, Kenny knew exactly what do to next. Stretching easily across the space separating them, he lowered his lips against Hunter's speaking softly into them. "This should work."

Whimpering a little as everything leading to this moment culminated in that one kiss, she did the only thing that made sense and knocked most the pile to the carpet, pivoting at the waist as she climbed up on the seat, perching on her knees as she met him halfway. Blinking excessively as they finally parted for breath a good two minutes later, she figured that now was the time to do what they did in all those videos she had watched online. Well, most of them. Grabbing the hem of her Henley, the girl deliberately pulled the top over her head, going so achingly slow to give him time to process the sight of her lavender corset, the black ribbon lacing it up the front getting further apart as it climbed higher and higher up her chest.

Because the cloth was covering her head at the time, Hunter had no idea what the look on his face was when he first saw that she had breasts, and due to the fear of what his reaction was, she left it over her head like an ostrich in the sand. "So now you know my secret." There was nothing but silence, and she wasn't brave enough to face him yet. "Kenny...?"

No, it couldn't be... Having to see this for himself, to be sure that this wasn't just some kind of trick, he reached out for the bandages obscuring the best part of the female body. Scratching at it in the fury of a mad cat, it wasn't long before there was a tangle of loose Ace hanging across her waist, a healthy b-cup staring back through angry red marks of concealment. They were real. They were really real!

Looking up at her as he had just seen God himself, there was only one thing he could say. "Why didn't you tell me that you had tits?!"

Lunging for them as if they could run at any moment, the smile plastered across his face only widened as he cupped them in his hands. They were so soft, so round, so squishy, just like tits should be... There wasn't anything that could have made this moment any better for him.

"Kenny?" The blonde was so mesmerized by her boobs, he seemed to become lost in them. "...Kenny?" Salivating as he imagined everything that he was going to do to those boobs, and the order in which he was going to do it, she could only look at him in alarm. "Umm... Are you alright?"

Alright? Alright?! He was better than alright! He had a pair of willing, naive boobs that would do anything he wanted them to... "Hey little guys." Kenny began to fondle her more vigorously. "I shall call them squishy and they shall be mine. And they shall be my squishy!" He gave them a rather ample squeeze. "Hmm, so squishy..."

Hunter was completely at a loss. Did he seriously just name her tits? And did it even register that she was a girl?

Giddy as a child at Christmas, Kenny could barely contain his excitement at this wondrous revelation. Titties, Hunter had real, honest-to-God Titties! Pulling on the loose knot that stood between him and serenity, just as the scant webbing fell away to unveil what he assumed to be never-been-seen mounds, her hands suddenly were pressing into her flesh, covering the natural beauty of the world.

Frowning, Hunter nodded out the window and at a passing family. "We shouldn't do this here, someone could see us..."

Was that all? For a minute, Kenny was afraid that Hunter was having second thoughts. "Hang on." Reaching under the seat, he pulled out a rather heavy blanket, perfect for camping on a cold night. "I thought ahead."

Distantly, she wondered just how much action that blanket has seen, but on that same token, she was kind of grateful that it had been his own, and not the owner of the vehicle's. She had heard some things about Stan's dad, and something told her that she would feel safer with something that wasn't his.

Ripping it open more than unfolding it, the blonde tossed the cover unceremoniously over their heads, making them look like some weird navy-blue mountain. Taking only a moment for his sight to adjust to the dark lighting, Kenny picked up exactly where he left off, unfastening the rest of Hunter's corset so that the dainty sable straps hung lank off her shoulders. But for the sight glowing in his eyes, oh-so-slowly meeting his hands, the rest of Hunter might not have existed at that moment. "So squishy..."

* * *

Writing about Kenny and Hunter's boobs, I couldn't help but to think of that scene in Finding Nemo, and somehow, in ended up in the story... And before I get any concerned reviwers (ha), I think that I'll say now that the next chapter will be one of light-shedding.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	26. Spider Eyes

Inclining rather uncomfortably against the door while he allowed his companion to sprawl comfortably across the other three-fourths of the seat, Kenny gazed his blue, blue eyes upon Hunter as he reconciled the fact that he was in fact a she. Caught in the moment, it had not initially occurred to him that just because Hunter had tits, that didn't make her a girl; however, having seen what laid beneath her pants - aside from matching underwear - any doubts he might have had were soundly squashed. From a business point of view, that should have changed nothing, but since the blonde had foolishly allowed himself to get close to Hunter, this changed a great deal of things.

For one thing, Kenny might never have considered entering business with one of those complicated creatures called woman, if only for the reason that in his own experience, virgins tended to be more clingy than their male counterparts when they were "deflowered". And for another, the boy had had his doubts about extending their relationship from client to that of a friend, but now knowing that that so-called 'friend' was in fact female, it was impossible. Guys couldn't be friends with girls, that was just a fact. And yet, now intimately aware of her gender, he had the feeling that it wouldn't have mattered if she had been upfront about her sex or not, because sooner or later, they would have ended up sleeping together one way or another...

Now that it was done and all there was to do was dress and reflect, Hunter stared up at the ceiling, wondering how much was going to change, if anything. Having done it, did that mean that she would no longer care for Kenny, or because he was her first, did that mean that some part of her would always care? Upset to learn that she had wasted the last of her money on an eleventh hour trip to the mall for something that was both uncomfortable and completely unnecessary, she figured that there would only be more bad news to come. Like the fact that because of the circumstances, she would now technically be labeled as 'easy'.

How could anyone ever look at her seriously again? Her father, her brother, or even Kyle? How could she even stand to look herself in the mirror now? And if she somehow did, could Hunter still possibly like the person looking back at her? This had seemed like a good thing to do at the time, but now the girl wasn't so sure...

Stealing a glance at precisely the same moment, their eyes met for the first time since Hunter's cherry had been so throughly popped. Blushing, they both found it too much to look directly at the other, so they quickly averted their gazes. But still, it was somehow a comforting thing to see that the other was looking - nay, most probably thinking - of their opposite. But why should it feel like a good thing when it so obviously was not?

Noticing that fewer people were passing them now, Kenny figured that there was still time to get in there for the game. "We should get going." Acting every inch as gentle as he had been once the novelty of Hunter having boobs had died down (down, but never away), the boy considerately picked up the bandage that was trailing onto the floor. "Do you need help?"

"I appreciate the offer," Honestly, Hunter was grateful any time someone offered to help her with menial tasks, even if they didn't mean it, but she wasn't prepared to bite that bullet again so soon. "but I'll pass. Stan probably wouldn't notice if I walked in there naked, and Kyle already knows-"

"Kyle already knows?" Kenny couldn't explain why, but he suddenly found himself getting jealous. "How?"

While traumatic, it wasn't that big of a deal, since they were just friends and that was all that they were ever going to be. "He walked in on me in the bathroom."

And she saw absolutely no problem with that? It made more sense than ever why people came to the conclusion that Kyle and Hunter were more than just friends, and if he hadn't known that he was in fact the first one to play on the jungle gym, he also would have been right behind everyone else. "We should hurry."

Hearing that Kyle had seen Hunter naked before he had had struck such a sour note with the blonde, it hadn't even crossed his mind to demand monetary compensation for her precious time - time that she could have been using to flash her friends. Oh Jesus Christ, even Cartman had seen her tits before him! The fuck had even confronted Hunter about it, and none of them had stopped to think that maybe he wasn't talking out of his ass for once! What, did Stan see them too?! Learning that he was not the first to gaze upon Squishy, Kenny felt cheapened...

**[South Park]**

"Hey, before we join the others..." Standing in the winding line leading up to the concession stand, forced to lean against Kenny if she wanted to remain vertical, Hunter couldn't help but to voice some of the things on her mind, at the same time wishing that there were less people around to snoop. "I wanted to ask you..." Hunter didn't want to paint the wrong picture, but somehow she always manged to ruin any pretense of coolness around Kenny, especially in moments like these. "...What happens now?"

That was the kind of thing that really only answered itself in due time, even if you could articulate it properly. She probably knew that, but she still looked to him for answers, showing Kenny that she continued to put her trust in him, that she could set aside pride and reason to ask for advice. What, was she scheming to string along the both of them? Or was Hunter the kind of spider that greedily spun her web for as many juicy flies as she could catch?

Wary of the spider's venom, there was a kind of iciness in his tone as he replied, "There is no one answer."

The kind of answer she had been expecting to hear, Hunter didn't actually think that she would hear him say it. "Oh." But why shouldn't she have expected it? It wasn't his place to comfort her. But what was his place in her life? "Of course..."

She seemed to take that harder than he had thought she would. "What were you expecting to hear?"

Honestly? Anything but that. "I don't know... Maybe that everything goes back to the way that it was... But even if that could happen, I don't know if I'd want that. I mean is it so naive to think that..." From the way that she had moved her head away from him, the embittered blonde could almost see her blushing before his eyes one more. "Never mind, I'm just being stupid. Forget I said anything."

How could he when he was just as invested in the final outcome as she was? "How can I now?"

An excellent question. Part of her was screaming to answer it, while the other half was demanding that she just drop the matter before irrevocable damage was done. "Sometimes people say things for a reason, like how the definition of insanity is repeating a task over again and expecting different results."

"Or how two people should get together?" Hunter really was insane if she thought that he was going to play into her hands. And sorely mistaken if she had the impression that he didn't see through her feeble excuses.

While Kenny thought that he was on to something, Hunter truly was lost and speaking on a different level, not even heeding those lingering rumors. "Yeah? You think that-"

"That you stand a chance? Why don't you flash him again and see?" Kenny considered himself to be a reasonable enough guy, taking pretty much every thing that had been thrown his way without gripe, but this, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. He might have to degrade his own body, but he wasn't about to give license to someone else to wage war on his mind. "Or you could bribe him into it - Christ knows this was a good enough start."

Spinning on the ball of her foot, she swiveled around with some difficulty, but once that had been managed, the girl gripped the front of his shirt in one hand and pointed at him with the other. "How dare you! I might have used this trip as a means to make friends, but I would never buy someone's affections! And secondly, there's no one else that I want!" She was so furious, Hunter was almost spitting. "And even if I did, I thought that you knew me better than to think that I would do that with just anyone! I'm not easy."

Of all the words that had crossed his mind of what Hunter was - both bad and good - 'easy' was not one of them. Fuck, putting it like that, Kenny realized that he had made a grievous error in judgment. Yeah, she did let him in after only knowing her for a short time, but the way he saw it, if she had been so quick to bed just any guy, she wouldn't have still been a virgin. She also wouldn't have donned the drag. Whores were whores, and he would know.

He admitted with no slight twinge of guilt, "I know." If Hunter had liked Kyle even a little, she easily could have fucked him by now, but instead she had chosen to give her first time to him. And from what he could gather, both Cartman and Kyle seeing her had been completely unintended accidents, so he really couldn't hold that against her. She was a good person, and too inexperienced to even try to screw with someone else's heart...

Dammit, that led them right back to square one again! She was too soft to handle the problems he came with, even if she did have skeletons of her own, and like she said herself, it was only a matter of time before she moved again. Impossible as it was, what if they fell in love, and then her family suddenly had to change addresses? What would they do then? Move together? Try to have a long distance relationship? Break up? It was all just too much to add...

And to make matters worse, it came out of her own mouth that she would never associate with a prostitute... Even losing her as a client, she would never want him if she knew what he had done, no matter how much she thought she wanted him now.

Far from completely abated, her anger had simmered considerably when he told her that he knew that she wasn't a tramp. In fact, there was a bubble of happiness forming inside of her that swelled in size with each passing second at those two simple words. Well, at least now Hunter had the answers to two of her questions - whatever came her way next, she knew that if she could look in the mirror, she wouldn't hate herself completely, and she was still very much in like with Kenny. Ok, so maybe neither were full answers, but they were enough for now...

"Thank you, Kenny."

The full extent of that thanks was expressed more in the look on her face than in the words themselves, shining bright in her eyes. This damn girl and her eyes... He swore, were mortality not denied him, he would have guessed that he would die for eyes like those. Maybe not Hunter's exactly, but eyes with the same kind of light.

* * *

The heart is a complicated beast, blinding us to reason sometimes. And yes, after having sex with Kenny, Hunter is concerned about what Kyle will think of her. Originally, I had an entirely different outcome typed out, and then another, but the tone for that was all wrong (which sucks because I had actually hit like the third subsequent chapter). And then that led to what feels like a hundred different drafts. But now, with this, I feel like it's in an ok place. Maybe not great, but not terrible.

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


	27. Cuteness, Villainy, and Hesitance

"Whadda want?" Finally at the front of the gleaming glass counter, a freckly girl of about nineteen looked at Kenny and Hunter, hassled and frazzled by the hecklers in front of them. Looking over at her current customers as they placed an order for a large popcorn and a cherry Icee, a pack of Twizzlers and a large Pepper, the girl thought that it was sweet that they would be so open in public. Taking the money from Hunter, she spared what was left of her courtesy on them. "You're both so brave! God bless you for not hiding your love."

"Sorry?" Taking the Dr. Pepper, Hunter passed it back to Kenny, who took it gratefully. Neither of them got what the girl behind the counter was getting at. Sure, they had both heard the comment that they looked like a couple, but they failed to grasp what made them so brave about it. If they actually were a couple, which they weren't. Probably. To Hunter's knowledge.

Ignoring the fact that this could have lost her her job had she not made special arrangements with her boss after hours, the cashier pressed her point. "It's so refreshing to see a gay couple taking a stand for their relationship! And to show up together at a sporting event... Surrounded by a bunch of hicks that probably want to kick your ass during half time no less! You guys have some monster balls alright."

Da fuck?! Free boobing it, Hunter wasn't even wearing the corset under her shirt at this point - a fact that Kenny was rather pleased to see - so there was no hiding the fact that she had tits. She trust out her chest to demonstrate the fact. "I'll have you know that I'm not a boy!"

Standing together, did they really look like a couple? Hearing that from a different perspective than Hunter had, Kenny was quite frankly taken aback that the cashier thought they were an item. Yeah, Hunter was leaning against him, but they could have been mistaken for siblings the way that her body was resting against his. But if that was what a stranger thought when they looked at them, what would their friends think? If they hadn't been standing so close, would they still have gotten the same response?

Interrupting her before she could continue on with the tirade she undoubtedly had building up inside, Kenny addressed the cashier directly. "Just because my girlfriend looks one of those gay emo guys with an unusually long neck-" Hunter grabbed her throat self-consciously at those words, "-that doesn't give you the right to pick on her for it."

Muttering an apology with a red face, the cashier kind of threw their stuff at them so they could go. "...I didn't know that that was a chick... Not my fault if all those guys are so effeminate..."

Taking their beverages and snacks - Hunter with a Medusa-esque death glare at being mistaken for a boy when her breasts were all but on display - Kenny led gimpy away from the line of oglers, most of whom where rather curious to get a glimpse of the boy-girl that had started shouting before her date had stepped in to diffuse the situation. Still fuming, the female carried on her rant all the way to the stands, where their friends were waiting in their seats. More than once, the words 'lawsuit', 'discrimination', 'sue', and 'fucking bitch' came out of her mouth.

"Good thing we didn't hold our breath." Kyle, sitting in the middle so that he could figure out if he had to play buffer later, saw that Hunter was glowering about something or other, while Kenny was just shaking his head behind her back as she ranted it out. In spite of her being pissed off about something, they didn't look mad at each other, so Kyle took that as a good sign.

**[South Park]**

On the road once more, Kyle at the wheel as he recounted a detailed, blow-by-blow account of the game that wasn't even semi-necessary, the so-called Wonder Twins sat in the back seat without even bothering to claim shotgun, heads bent together as they whispered back and forth. Originally, they had started out in that position just to look guilty to screw with Stan and Kyle. Hmph, that'd teach 'em to give them condescending nicknames that served only to encourage their more mischievous sides.

Now seated in the opposite place they had started the journey in, Hunter leaned over and murmured so only Kenny could hear her. "Hey, wanna fuck with with 'em some more?" More meaning that every time the other team had scored, they would hiss and jeer at Kyle, and every time that their team made a basket, they would poke him in random places. Hunter had tried to include Stan, but he barely responded, so their only real target was Kyle, who learned on that day to never sit between the Wonder Twins again.

Always up for a good laugh (especially when said laugh was a friend's expense), there was no need to twist any arms. Hands thrown over his mouth to prevent any lip-reading from the front, the blonde muttered back conspiratorially, "What did you have in mind?"

Grinning evil as any villain with a classic mustache and monocle combination, she revealed the master plan. "We're going to keep whispering back and forth until one of them asks us what we're planing."

"That is..." Kenny broke into a matching smirk. "The best idea ever!" They both failed to account for the fact that between driving and talking to himself, Kyle would barely notice what they were up to, and Stan might as well have been a sack of potatoes. "So, what do we talk about while we wait?"

Damn it all, she hadn't thought that far ahead... Although, ever since roughly half-way through the game, there was one thing that had occurred to her, but it was something that would only push her luck. And knowing her own luck, it would most certainly be for the worst. "I dunno, you go first."

Seriously, was she still pretending that he couldn't see right through her bullshit? Well, whatever. He had a hunch about what was on her mind this time, and it wasn't exactly a topic he cared to pursue himself, so he played along. "There's always that pop quiz LeMerchand keeps threatening us with."

That suggestion was so off-hand, Hunter figured out his play almost as soon as he decoded hers. Honestly, in what universe does Kenny McCormick bring up school, unless it was a distraction for his more studious friends? And really, it was French class to boot! No one in their grade took that class very seriously. "LeMerchand is never going to do it. Mark my words, the only time we'll have a test is when we have time to prepare ourselves."

She probably had him there. It wasn't like he cared much anyways, since any available elective was better than shop class. He had already died that way before, and while none of his deaths were particularly savory, that one had been especially painful. Granted, that may have had something to do with the fact that he knew it was coming the entire time.

"Terrance and Phillip might have a reunion show soon." Because that wasn't a baseless rumor that had had been circulating for years.

With stimulating conversation such as this, it was no wonder that an earlier comment of Kenny's had been pushed completely from their minds. Seriously, there was no way that Hunter in particular wanted to just buckle and ask if he had really meant it. Being so capable of self-control, she asked something unrelated entirely. "So, about earlier..." The thought of a human muzzle didn't cross the female's mind at all, "Did you mean it?"

Fucking fish dicks. Just about to open his mouth to reply, Kenny was saved having to answer that question by an angel of mercy. Or Kyle. But whatever, Kenny wasn't picky about what form the angel took, so long as he was spared having to solve that inquiry. Obviously it was inevitable that he would have to come clean with Hunter and have this talk, but the blonde really didn't want to have to address it sooner than he had to...

"Hey," Kyle had noticed them only for how quiet they were being, and for how long the silence - technically low hiss - had seemingly lasted. "What are you two up to back there?"

Feigning innocence, they both looked at their chauffeur, Hunter with a prolonged eye at her back seat companion. As much as she wanted to have her answers, this was her idea to begin with. "Nothing." In order to distract herself, she took it a step further. "Jesus weeping fuck, why do we always have to be doing something?!"

Kyle answered flatly, having his childhood friend in mind more than the new kid. "Because you're you."

* * *

So this was another double release. Took long enough... Anyways, I had to make sure that everything gelled, so that's why it happened this way. But seriously, so many possibilities...

I do not own South Park, that's all on Matt and Trey, but I do own Hunter and Avery!


End file.
